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The Escalade rolled away, turning left at the stop sign, toward one of Pittman’s many “offices,” I was sure.
I held my breath until the SUV was completely out of sight, and then I sunk down onto the soft grass, gulping air like water as my heart tried to race its way out of my body. Lance bounced around me, licking my face, taking it as playtime.
Breathe. Just breathe.
I couldn’t. I grabbed at the grass, yanking up a fistful. I turned onto all fours, trying to hold my breath again, to slow my heart.
“Shit,” I choked.
Wait, I knew what to—what to do.
I looked around. Three things I could see.
“Trees,” I breathed, stretching my neck as if that would give me more access to oxygen. “Lance.” I glanced across the street. “Fire hydrant.”
Two things I could smell. Lance jumped up on me. Definitely Lance. He needed a bath. And me. I could smell my own fear.
A sob escaped my throat as tears filled my eyes, but I sat back down cross-legged and took a deep breath and let it out.
“Okay, something I can touch.”
One of my hands sunk into his soft, furry warmth, and the other landed back in the cool grass. I let my fingers curl into it, feeling the damp earth underneath.
My heart rate slowed as my mind remembered I wasn’t in danger anymore. I was okay.
Fight or flight.
I could do this.
After a few moments of just sitting there breathing, I actually started to believe that. I could do this. Do life. Get through all this craziness and move on. I just needed a distraction and something to do with myself because cleaning Grace’s basically immaculate house and keeping her company, while nice, wasn’t enough to occupy my brain. And sitting around Adam’s apartment made me stir-crazy. I missed my job. Having a purpose.
I blinked. Wow. That was new. I hadn’t felt that way in a while.
My phone buzzed from my pocket and I pulled it out to see Grace’s face.
“Hello?”
“What are you doing?” she asked.
I glanced around at where I sat in front of the park on the side of the road. “Playing with Lance.” She didn’t need the gory details. “And me and Adam said the words. Those words. The ‘I love you’ words.”
“Holy shit!”
“Yeah, that’s kind of where I am right now,” I said breathily.
“Like how did he do it?”
“He didn’t. I did it half-asleep in his bed, and then I woke up and he said it back.”
She guffawed. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“So, in his bed, huh?”
“Keep up, Grace, we’ve moved to the big shit.”
She laughed. “It’s all good, Faith, you’ve got this. It’s not like it’s something new. You’ve loved him for years.”
