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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Adam
Iwatched Faith storm away and I became hollow inside.
Gutted.
I’d known this moment was coming, but I was still not prepared. How could I be? How do you prepare yourself to be razed... to watch your shattered heart walk away in the hands of the one you desperately love but brutally lost?
Still, I wouldn’t change a thing. I loved her enough to give her up if it meant protecting her from those who’d hurt her. She could start over now that her father was gone, along with this threat Cyrus held over her, and really live. Find what made her happy.
And me, I’d breathe in and breathe out until I couldn’t anymore.
Mateo shot me a sympathetic look, then strode away without a word, leaving me to my misery.
That suffering became more acute the longer I sat there, soaking in the memories that weren’t all that old—the dank gray cement walls, the murky fluorescent light, the putrid smells of human waste and sweat, the overriding sense of despair. I’d left prison, sure, but it had never left me. Not really. It’d been lurking in my subconscious this entire time, waiting for me to come back, and it was scary how quickly I was acclimating again. All that was missing were the other testosterone-filled assholes trash-talking each other, and I’d be right at home.
But no.
I was different now.
Faith was my home, and I was desperately homesick.
A couple hours later, after a cardboard sandwich and an orange for lunch, Tobias showed up, and I was taken to a small visiting room to talk to him.
“I can only give you ten minutes,” Mateo said.
I knew I was getting special treatment and I nodded my appreciation. “Thanks.”
Tobias sat across from me, his face drawn with worry. “What the hell is going on, Adam?” he asked.
He knew I was working undercover, but I’d held back this part of the deal from him because I knew he’d worry. I felt like an asshole about that, but I would explain as soon as I could, and that would have to be good enough.
I shot a glance to the guard at the door. “I can’t talk about it,” I said, my voice low. “I’m sorry.” I knew Cyrus had a mole in the police department; I just didn’t know who. So, for now, nobody was to be trusted other than Mateo, and I treated the walls like they had ears.
Tobias reared back. “What? I’m your brother, man!”
“I know.” I clasped my hands together, my cuffs clanking loudly in the small room. I clenched my jaw and took a breath, lowering my voice to a whisper. “Please just trust me.” I met his gaze with a knowing look, hoping he’d read between my silent lines.
He was quiet a long moment, his eyes slowly sliding over to the guard as well. Understanding seemed to dawn. “I do trust you, Adam. We’ll sort this shit out. You know Hope is chomping at the bit to get in here to represent you, right?”
I shook my head. “Tell her I appreciate it, but there’s no need.”
“Adam—”
I stood and moved for the door. “It’s fine, Tobes. I promise. I got this.” I offered him the most confident smile I could. “Love you, bro.”
I didn’t wait for his response before I nodded to the guard that I was ready to go back. It was better this way. Better to keep details to a minimum for now until all the dust was settled. It was less painful for me and it was the best way to keep everyone I loved safe.
Locked back up, I killed time by working out the best I could to keep the demons in my mind at bay. Sit-ups, push-ups, air boxing. I went until I was drenched in sweat, then washed off in the tiny metal sink and collapsed onto the lumpy mattress.
I’d overheard the guards talking earlier, and my mind was turning over the news. Cyrus Pittman had been arrested early this morning, before I had. They’d searched his home last night, but I didn’t know what was found or what the charges were. If that gun had meant anything. Or where he was if he was arrested, too. What it all meant for me...
“Adam.”
I snapped up at Mateo’s voice.
“I need you to come with me.”
