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Sawyer.
Despite months of being her main source of support, years of being her friend, he’d run away from her. Right when she’d thought they finally were getting somewhere.
She couldn’t even look at him now.
Instead, she looked to the other brothers. Hunter, who she considered one of her best friends, had one arm holding his small daughter and the other wrapped around Hayden, who just last season would’ve knocked him to the ground for even attempting such an emotional gesture. Wild how love had changed them both, even if they didn’t like to admit it. Changed Anna, too, who laughed warmly with Julia and Derek a few feet away.
Kayla’s heart hurt again as she unwittingly glanced toward Sawyer, who wore a wide grin and laughed with Mason.
She guessed she just wasn’t worth changing for.
“Kayla,” a calming voice called. She turned to see Rain, whose stomach had just started showing signs of the new life growing inside of it. “I hoped I’d catch you.”
She offered her best smile. “I wouldn’t leave without seeing you first.” Even if they’d only known each other for the past two years, Rain was without a doubt the person Kayla felt closest to. The person who she’d miss most when she hit the road with the Resistance army.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Rain pouted. Her hands held her slightly rounded belly. “I don’t know how I’m going to get through all this without you.”
Kayla forced another smile. “Michelle claimed to do medical work for the UNR. She’ll know how to deliver the baby, probably better than me.” Kayla wasn’t formally trained, after all, only knowing what she knew from her… her father.
She swallowed down the lump in her throat, commanding the tears not to fall.
“That’s not what I meant, Kayla.”
She met Rain’s eyes and saw the swell of emotion in them. Within a second, they were both crying despite Kayla’s earlier declaration, holding onto each other tightly and refusing to let go.
“I’m sorry,” Rain sniffled. “It’s—it’s the pregnancy hormones.”
Kayla giggled, but it sounded too throaty through the thickness of tears. “Then what’s my excuse?”
They both laughed again, still hanging onto each other but loosening their grips. Kayla pulled back first, wiping the wetness from her cheeks and smiling for real this time. “I’m really, really going to miss you.”
“Are you sure you can’t stay?” Rain pleaded, not for the first time since Kayla had made the decision to go with the fighters.
“I’m sure.” She may have said it a thousand times already, but she repeated herself once more. “They’re going to be fighting out there. They’ll need someone who can help with wound care and injuries. And I just… really need to get away. From everything.” The more time she spent in the home that she’d shared with her father, in his office using his equipment, the more she felt her grasp on reality slip away from her. If she had any chance of surviving the endless waves of grief, she needed to get away. Needed to start fresh, to find her own purpose that wasn’t just existing permanently in his shadow.
Rain squeezed her forearm. “I understand.” She sniffled again. “I don’t like it, but I do understand.”
They both laughed at that just as Hunter walked over, wrapping an arm around Rain and pulling her close to him.
Kayla felt a longing for what they had, but she did not feel jealousy. She loved to see her friends happy, even if it was with a happiness she couldn’t have herself. A smile spread across her lips as she watched the baby reach out to Rain and touch her face, pointing to her nose which was red from crying.
Over the next twenty minutes or so, everyone else say their final—for now, she hoped—goodbyes. Kayla hugged Hunter twice (maybe three times), said her goodbyes to Derek and Julia, checked over some last minute things with Danny, a newer recruit who’d offered to take over Kayla’s daycare duties.
She checked her bag for the belongings she’d packed, including her dad’s old white coat that he’d insisted on keeping through the years. He told her it symbolized he was a doctor back before the Fall. She wasn’t sure why a white jacket symbolized a doctor, but she did know that it had his name sewed into the front pocket and was important to him, which was more than enough to make it invaluable to her.
She zipped up her bag and then spun around, only to crash into a wall of flesh. She sucked in a sharp breath, her nostrils filling with the delicious scent of musk and mint. She immediately stepped back, putting some space between her and the man she’d been trying to avoid for the last few months.
“Are you ready? Need anything else?” Sawyer’s voice was gentle, optimistic.
“I’m fine.” If she did need something, she wouldn’t be asking him for it. Not anymore.
He nodded. “Let’s go then.” He motioned for her to follow.
She wanted to argue, wanted to blend into the huge group and stay far, far away from him. But arguing would only tell him that he’d won, that he’d gotten to her. And she would not do that. Instead, she followed him, promising herself that she’d slip away once they started moving.
This would be her fresh start. Her escape. Her new life.
She could do this. They all could.
Hayden and Anna moved beside her, hand-in-hand, Hayden giving her a single pat on the shoulder. It may not mean much to those who didn’t know him, but to her? Who’d known Hayden for almost half her life? It meant the world. She smiled back at him, mouthing a thank you.
Sawyer turned around, looking out over the group gathered behind them. Despite everything he’d put her through, her heart still raced when his eyes caught hers, butterflies fluttering in her stomach at his wide grin.
His gaze lingered on her for a moment, then moved above her head to the rest of the group. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted to those around him. “Who’s ready for war?”
