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“That sounded harsher than I meant. I’m sorry,” she says, sighing again. “God, why does it have to be so hard?”
“It’s not,” I reply.
“Yes, it is. It’s not a question of liking you or not. It’s not as simple as a yes or no question.”
“I don’t agree,” I growl.
She raises a brow at me. “Really?”
I shrug and rub the back of my neck. I really don’t understand why she’s making it so difficult. She can either like me or not, but she’s in here, stuck with me. There is no choice. I took that away from her.
Sighing, I clutch my hands together and let my head down. That’s just it, really. That’s why she’s so upset. It’s my fault she’s stuck in here. I picked her.
“I’m sorry …” I mumble.
“What?”
I look up at her shocked face. “For choosing you.”
She licks her lips, and her eyes fill up with water again, but she brushes it away. Nodding, she bites her lips. “I understand. You made a choice. It’s as simple as that. You didn’t know what you were doing,” she says. “Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself in my head.”
She lets out a pitiful laugh, one I’ve come to expect when she’s uncomfortable.
I don’t want her to feel that way.
“It’s okay,” I say, smiling softly.
She smiles back. “Thanks.”
It’s quiet for a moment before she begins again. “I really didn’t want to leave you here, you know. I know it’s not fair to say that, but I didn’t want to abandon you. But you … you like it here, right? It’s all you know. This is your home. He’s your father.”
I shrug. I understand what she means, but Father isn’t all that either. I used to look up to him, used to make him want to be proud. But now? After sharing a cage with her for so long, I finally learn there’s more than one side to him. That he can be unkind to anyone who gets between him and his target. Even if it’s my girl, my Ella. And I’m not sure I’m going to allow that to ever happen again.
Because deep down in my heart, I can feel the burning fire that I feel whenever I look at her. Think of her. Dream of her. I feel that only for her. And nothing he does can get close to that.
I want her. I want to keep feeling that, and I’ll do anything in my power to keep it.
Even if it means going against him.
Maybe I am at a point where I have to make a choice. Just like she did.
She made the choice to run, and even if he did catch her, she still ran away without me. That was her choice. I wish she’d stayed, but that’s my feelings toward her. I can’t force her to feel the same.
But still, I can’t help but wonder … why didn’t she think of me?
“You left me?” I ask.
She licks up some of the drops rolling down her lips. “There is a padlock on the door, Cage.”
I narrow my eyes, confused at that word. Padlock? Never heard of it before.
“It’s a lock, like on the black door, you know? It can’t be opened without knowing how.”
Now I understand. She couldn’t open the door from the outside because only Father knows how.
“He’s the only one who knows how to open the door. He knows the code; I don’t. I couldn’t … I couldn’t take you with me. I’m sorry,” she repeats.
I lift a hand. I don’t want to hear that word anymore.
Enough is enough.
I understand. She followed her instincts. I do the same when it comes to her. It’s only natural.
After all, this place would turn anyone into a beast.
Even the most innocent of all.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Accompanying Song: “Bing Abi” by Stephen McKeon
Ella
More than two weeks have passed since I escaped. I’m sitting on the floor directly across from him against the glass. With pictures drawn with lipstick and more words, I’ve explained my world to him in great detail. When I stop, he asks me to continue. It’s been like this for days. I like talking about the world I know because it brings me back there. To the snowy mountains I saw on my travels, the deep rivers, the far ocean, to the animals, the life … the people. Cities and technology are a little hard to grasp for him, but I guess that’s understandable, considering he’s never seen any of it.
But still, it’s nice to discuss it because it helps me remember it still exists. It’s not just there in my head, but it’s real too, and it’s waiting for me to come back.
“Can I see too?” he asks when I tell him I’ve seen it all.
I sigh, tucking a strand of hair behind my ears. “If you want …”
