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CHAPTERONE
The air is different in this place. Stagnant and thick. Laced with this underlying scent of decay that only years of neglect could bring. It’s hot and impossibly humid too. I woke up a few hours ago with a parched mouth and nearly every inch of my body coated in a thin layer of sweat.
It’s dark. So purely pitch black that it's almost impossible to see anything in front of me. It's the kind of darkness nightmares are made of. The kind of darkness you can’t stare at for too long, not without panic setting it.
What is this place?
From what I can tell, I’m not injured, and aside from the tight ropes biting into my ankles and wrists and the pounding headache that still hasn’t gone away, I feel little pain.
I have to give it to them. Whoever tied me to this chair knew what they were doing. I’ve been testing the binds since I woke up and all I’ve managed to do is rub my skin raw.
I’m not sure how long I sat here drifting in and out of sleep before I came to. Minutes? Hours? Days? My memory is hazy and the longer I sit here, the harder it is to keep track. I don’t know what Dimitri wants from me or why the hell he’s left me here.All I really know is I need to get the hell out of here.
* * *
The next time I wake up I try to search the darkness again, but there’s still nothing discernible about this place. Just four dark walls cast in even darker shadows.
Staring out into the void feels like I’m drowning. Like I’m sinking beneath the depths of thick, murky water and no matter how hard I try to claw up to the surface, I can’t. There’s no light to guide me. Just darkness. All-consuming, inescapable darkness.
I should be used to this feeling.I think bitterly as I give up on the search and close my eyes once more.
I’ve been drowning for a while now. In guilt. In fear. In emotions I was never really equipped to handle. And being in this place only seems to amplify that feeling. Almost as if the dark solitude is forcing me to face everything I’ve been trying to avoid.
I’m not a good person.I used to think I was, but after everything I’ve done, how can I possibly still believe that?
My little sister is dead because of me. Ezra may have been the one to pull the trigger, but Alex would’ve never been on his radar if I didn’t selfishly put her there.
Same with Melanie and Charles. They were the closest thing I had to friends, and they died trying to save me from a lunatic I stupidly lured in. The Reapers warned me about Dimitri and I always knew there was something off with him. I was just too selfish and bullheaded to see how dangerous he was until it was too late.
I’ve hurt the people closest to me and if my dad were alive, he would be so fucking disappointed in the person I’ve become. Cold. Ruthless. Deceitful. That’s not the kind of woman he raised me to be. Then again, maybe that’s the biggest problem in all of this.
I’ve spent my whole life trying to be good and live up to the standards my father set for me. But maybe I’ve just been fighting a losing battle all along. Maybe hurting others is in my DNA.After all, I’m not just his daughter, I’m hers too.
