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“We won,” I said with a smile. “Our quarterback, Max, got thrown out of the game, so Coach Jefferson put Ian in as quarterback for the second half. He did amazing.”
“And you survived spending the day with his family?”
“They’re great. I love his sister, and his dad and stepmom are super sweet too.”
“That’s good. Have you eaten yet?” she asked.
“Yeah. We went to dinner in Emporia to celebrate before we headed back. Um, Ian’s going to come over and we’re going to have a movie marathon while you’re at work tomorrow.”
“You two are spending a lot of time alone together,” she noted.
“That tends to happen when you date someone,” I muttered as I sat down next to her.
She let out an annoyed sigh. “Look, I’m not naïve, Kyler. I know you have sex with him while I’m not home. I don’t approve, but you’re going to do it whether or not I like it, so I just want to make sure you’re taking your pill and being safe. I won’t support you if you throw away your scholarship opportunities by getting pregnant.”
My eyes stung, and I squeezed them shut to keep back the tears of disappointment and anger that were threatening to spill over. What had I ever done to deserve this from her? Other than become a teenager.
Maybe one day I’d be able to tell her the truth. Maybe one day I’d be able to make her understand how good Ian had been for me. But not now. Not like this. Not when she took every word I said out of context and accused me of infractions I hadn’t committed every chance she got. If I ever found the strength to tell her…well, I’d make sure I had the person who had helped me gain that strength to begin with right here next to me.
“We are,” I said simply.
She didn’t need to know that our version of being safe involved not having sex…for now. And that when Ian and I did take that step, we’d already talked about what being safe looked like for us. That was private, and she hadn’t earned the right to invade my privacy like that.
“Good. Listen, I don’t know why I stopped with the open-door rule, but you’re to keep your bedroom door open while he’s here,” she harped.
“Mom, I close my door when he comes over because I let Cosette out. He likes her. He holds her and snuggles with her, and he likes watching her hop and binky around the room.”
“Either you leave that door open, or he’s no longer welcome in this home,” she snapped. “I’m not going to encourage this behavior, Kyler!”
“Oh, my God, Mom! Do you honestly think that I’d want to do anything with you in the house anyway? Do you thinkhewould? You can come in any time. The worst thing you’d possibly walk in on is a kiss. But I’m not going to stop letting Cosette out while he’s here just because you’ve suddenly decided we must be doing the horizontal happy nonstop every time he comes over.”
“Donotuse that rabbit as an excuse to disobey my rules!” she growled.
“I’m not, Mom,” I sniffed, unable to stop a couple of tears from trailing down my cheeks. “But unless you’ve changed your rules about her being allowed out of my bedroom, I need to have the door closed while she’s out. And she needs her exercise, so I need to let her out when I know she’s going to be the most active. That just happens to be the time that Ian’s usually over at the house, because he has his own life and his own family too. The door’s always unlocked. You can come in any time you want. But I’m not going to stop doing what’s best for Cosette just because you hate Ian for some reason, when he’s donenothingto deserve it!”
“I told you, Kyler. I don’t trust that boy,” she insisted, raising her chin in defiance like a petulant toddler.
“Why, Mom? Why don’t you trust him? Give meonegood reason!”
“Because he asked you to tutor him under false pretenses! He convinced you to disobey my rules about meeting any boys you wanted to date, and you didn’t bring him over to meet me until you couldn’t use the tutoring as an excuse anymore. You willfully deceived me, and he encouraged it!”
I had to take a second to process her train of thought, because her logic made absolutely no sense. Did she really think that little of her own child that she was just convinced I’d made it my life’s mission to figure out how to screw with her every chance I got?
“And you can’t even deny it!” she crowed.
“Yes, I can,” I sniffed. “I’m literally in shock right now because I have no idea where you even came up with that idea. Ms. Upton asked me if I’d be willing to work around Ian’s football schedule because I’m one of like three people who can tutor in Spanish. You can call and ask her! And you can also ask Ian’s coach, who recommended that he get tutoring to bring his GPA up so he could qualify for a scholarship. Thatishow this started. I can’t help that I fell in love with him in the process, but Ididlet you meet him before our first date.Thatwas the rule, and I followed it.”
“Love?” she scoffed. “You’re a child! You don’t even know what love is! You’re throwing away your entire future by thinking with your vagina instead of your brain!”
The pain and leftover anxiety from the game transformed into white-hot anger. I’d had to watch the people who had destroyed my life try to hurt the man I loved tonight, and now my mom was going to sit there and tell me that I didn’t know how I felt?
Nope. She hadnoright.
“I’mnota child, Mom,” I rasped as I stood up. “I’m eighteen years old. Maybe Ian and I will last, or maybe we won’t. But that doesn’t make my feelings about him right now any less real, and Iknowhe feels the same way about me. So you can accept that he’s part of my life now or not, but he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”
With that, I turned and went into the kitchen, grabbing a handful of lettuce out of the fridge for my bunny, then stalked off to my room and shut the door.
* * *
