Page 86 of Breaking My Silence


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Normally, I would have giggled – or at least smiled – at that, but right now I just couldn’t findanythingfunny.

“Bottom of the closet,” I muttered as I grabbed my brush and some makeup off of my vanity.

I also grabbed Ian’s Christmas present from the middle drawer of my vanity and put it in the duffel with my clothes. I’d spent way too long making it to risk not being able to give it to him.

I didn’t need all of my movies, but I grabbed a couple of my favorites that I knew he didn’t have and weren’t on any streaming platform. After the day I’d had, I needed my go-to feel-good movies. Then I grabbed my laptop, phone, and iPad and their chargers and threw all of those in my laptop bag. And finally, I grabbed all of my video recording equipment. That stuff waswaytoo expensive to leave here and risk not being able to get it later.

Twenty minutes later, I was packed and Ian had all of Cosette’s stuff ready to go. Ian grabbed Cosette and held her and whispered to her, trying to keep her calm while I cleaned out her cage, emptied her water bottle and litter box, and salvaged what hay and pellets from the cage I could so I could postpone a trip to the pet store as long as possible. Then I grabbed the cat carrier I used for her trips to the vet, opening the door of it and holding it out.

“It’s okay, Cosette,” Ian murmured, kissing her head before gently putting her in the carrier and shutting the door. “I’m not about to let your mom leave you behind. She needs you too much, so we’re taking you with us. You need to go in here for just a little while.”

I turned the cage around so she could see me. “I’m right here, sweet girl. You’ll be okay.”

“Can you take both of your bags and the carrier? I’ve got her cage and her supplies.”

“Yeah. Do you think you can get my computer bag too?” I sniffled.

He slung the strap across his shoulders before picking up Cosette’s stuff. “I’ve got it. Do you have everything you need?”

I nodded. “I’m good to go.”

“Okay, baby. Let’s get you out of here.”

Ian and I walked out of my bedroom with my bags, my bunny, and all of her supplies. When we got to the living room, he stopped and put everything down.

“Ky, do you have a pen and paper in your backpack?” he asked.

I went and grabbed my backpack, getting a pen and notebook out of it and then shouldering it. Ian wrote something in the notebook and then ripped the page out and handed it to my mom.

“That’s my address, where I’m taking Ky. If you decide that you can be a decent human being and support your daughter while she goes through the trauma of being forced to tell her story over and over again to a bunch of police officers and attorneys who are going to be picking through everything she says with a fine-toothed comb – and while she has to come to terms with facing her rapists in court – come find us. But make no mistake, I love your daughter, and I’ll protect her and care for her with everything I have. That includes protecting her from you if I don’t believe you have her best interests at heart. And right now, I don’t think you do.”

“How dare you come intomyhome and say these things to me? You haveno right!” my mom screamed.

“This might be your home, but I’m not here for you,” he said, still as calm as ever. “I’m here for Kyler. And maybe instead of lashing out at your daughter and at someone who cares about her, what you should be doing is asking yourself why she’s just packed her bags and her bunny up and is leaving with someone she’s been dating for three months. Maybe you should be trying to figure out why she feels safer and more cared for with her boyfriend than she does with her own mother. Just a thought.”

I didn’t even look at my mom as I carried Cosette and half of my worldly possessions out of the house I’d lived in since seventh grade.

Ian followed me and shut the door behind me. “We’ll need to pack most of this up in your car. I don’t think it’s a good idea to put it in the bed of my truck. Are you okay to drive, or do you want me to have my dad give me a ride back here to get my truck later?”

“I’m fine,” I sighed as I opened the door to my backseat so he could put Cosette’s cage there. “I don’t trust leaving your truck here with my mom like this. I’m not entirely convinced she wouldn’t vandalize it or have it towed or something. God, I hate that I’m saying that about my own mother.”

“You know she’s full of shit, right?” he said as he shut the car door. “You know you did nothing wrong and absolutely none of this is your fault?”

“If it wasn’t for you, I might have believed her,” I admitted. “But I meant what I said in there. It’s because of you that I’m not scared anymore. That I found the courage to come forward at all. If my mom would really rather lash out and victim-blame andplaythe victim instead of support me through this, that’s her decision.”

He kissed me with so much tenderness that I thought I might float away. “You amaze me, Ky. You’re so strong and brave, and you don’t even see it.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” I chuckled awkwardly. “Because you’re the one who made me this way. Before you, I was weak and scared.”

“No, baby. I’ve always seen this strength in you. You just had to see it for yourself,” he told me.

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