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“Of course, I am,” I scoff, walking past him.
“Are you mad at me?” he asks, following my footsteps through the sand.
“Is it that obvious?” I glance at him over my shoulder, and I immediately regret it.
“What did I do to you?” he asks.
I don’t respond because I don’t know what to say. He won’t understand.
“Jules. Stop.” Out of nowhere, he grabs my arm and spins me around.
“What’s your problem?” I spit. “Just let me do my thing and you do yours.”
“No, that’s a fucking signal,” he growls back, pointing at the stones in the sand. “You think I’m going to let you finish? Fuck no.”
“Let go,” I hiss, and I jerk my arm free and stumble on.
He tails right behind me, so I start to run.
But it’s no use … I can’t escape him.
I can’t escape this island.
Not any of it.
And the moment he catches me, we tumble down onto the warm sand, rolling over until he’s on top of me.
“Get off me,” I hiss.
“No,” he says.
So I slap him.
He doesn’t budge. It’s as if the pain doesn’t even faze him.
“Let me go,” I say.
“No. Not until you calm down.”
“I wanna go home,” I say, trying to look anywhere else but at him.
But it’s no use. He’s right up in my face, forcing me to face with what I’ve done.
“Why? Do you hate this place so much?”
Part of me wants to scream yes. But that would be a lie.
The truth is, this place has been liberating, to say the least.
No more judgment. No more rules. No more stress.
But what did I have to sacrifice in return? My home. Comfort. My family and colleagues.
Families out there waiting to hear the bad news about Pete and Ollie. They died for the research we were supposed to do here.
And what did I do? Nothing.
I fucked a man from the jungle.
“Why can’t you let me go?” I ask, tears welling up in my eyes.
“This isn’t about me, and you know it,” he says.
“Just shut up,” I plead, closing my eyes. “Please.”
“No. You said you wouldn’t try anymore. That was a lie.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I can’t stay here. Don’t you understand? I have a life off this island,” I say, trying to push him off me, but it’s no use. He’s far stronger than I am. “I have to contact them.”
“No,” he says.
“Why?” I scream, punching him again.
“Stop,” he says, pinning my hands above my head. “You’re only hurting yourself.”
“Fuck you,” I spit.
“Well, fuck you too,” he says, a familiar grin spreading on his lips. “In fact, we already did that.”
Grinding my teeth, I growl, “You seduced me.”
“And you practically begged me to,” he muses.
“Liar,” I hiss.
“Oh, yeah? And what was that touching my dick in the middle of the night all about then?”
“It was a mistake,” I reply.
“Really?” He raises one eyebrow. “Or are you just saying that because it’s easier to lie to yourself?”
I part my lips, but there is no witty response. No comeback. Nothing.
Just … goddammit.
“Why do you still resist?” he asks. His thumb caresses my cheeks, lingering on my lips as he leans over. “You can feel it too, can’t you?” He presses a soft kiss to my lips, numbing the pain.
But I don’t want him to numb the pain.
I gather the last bit of my strength and push myself away from him, crawling across the sand.
“Why won’t you let me love you?” he asks.
“Love? Love?” I make a face. Does he even know what that is?
“Yes. I like you … and I want you,” he says, his eyes as desperate as his words.
“How do you even know what love is?” I ask.
“I learned it … before I came here.” He clears his throat.
“But love needs more than sex,” I reply.
“I can give that to you,” he says. “Whatever you need.”
It’s all so simple to him.
But the thing is, he can’t give me what I need.
“Won’t you stay?” The pain in his voice feels like a sharp knife to the back.
“I can’t,” I say, shaking my head. “What if I get pregnant?”
“You mean …?” He gazes at my belly, and I immediately rub it.
“I don’t know,” I reply. “But we had sex, Lock. Unprotected.”
A smile appears on his face. One of genuine joy. “A baby. Hmm …” He crawls closer and places a hand on my belly too. “Yes, I want you to carry my baby.”
“What?” My jaw drops. “No, no, no. Not happening.”
I can’t believe he’s actually thinking of having babies. On this island.
“Why not?”
“Because … we’re on a fucking island?!” I say, my eyes practically bulging out of my head. “Have you lost your mind?”
“No.”
I glare at him for a second before it sinks in that he’s totally serious right now.
He’s not kidding. He really wants to have a baby.
Holy shit.
I never imagined that.
I’ve never even thought about it.
