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The door to the Vigil office hadn’t completely closed, the latch just slightly ajar. I pulled it open and found Logan sitting on the edge of the computer desk, shuffling a deck of cards. That was strange enough that my eyes darted to the images on the cards, and I realized it was even odder than I’d initially thought. They weren’t playing cards but tarot cards by the look of them.
“What are those for?” I blurted out as Logan’s head jerked up at my entrance.
He frowned at me, his hands stilling. Nudging the cards into a straight formation, he slid them into the box that’d been sitting on the desk next to him and then shoved that into the desk’s drawer. “Just a tool for inspiration. Nothing important. What are you doing here? We’re not heading out until tonight, when the bar’ll be open and busy.”
Shit. I’d already put him on the defensive. I groped for a way to smooth over the situation and decided there really wasn’t any. Honestly, even if I hadn’t asked an abrupt question, Logan seemed to take offense to just about everything I said these days.
“I needed to talk to you,” I said instead, figuring it was best to get straight to the point. “Just you.”
Logan’s stance had already tensed when I’d come in, but now his shoulders went slightly more rigid. He narrowed his eyes at me. “About what?” he asked flatly. “I thought we were all talked out after our last private chat.”
I drew myself up straighter, girding myself. I would not let him intimidate me out of this. I wouldn’t let him make me feel small or pathetic. Something was going on—somethinghadbeen going on two years ago—and I had a right to know why it’d screwed things up between us so epically.
I tugged the door all the way shut and leaned against the doorframe, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’ve held my own with you and the other guys through every part of this investigation so far. I think I’ve proven that I’m not weak anymore like I was back in junior high when you had to jump in to defend me. I candefendmyself now. You don’t have to worry about what I can or can’t handle.”
Logan’s expression gave away nothing. His bright brown eyes, which had shone so hungrily in my dream, held only impatience. “Fine. You’re a strong, independent woman. I get it. Is there a point to this or did you just want my approval?”
God, did he always have to needle me in just the right way to get under my skin? My jaw clenched, but I forced it to relax.
“I need you to tell me what happened the night we hooked up,” I said, keeping my own voice as calm as possible. “Iknowsomething was up. I’ve seen the kind of things you’ve been doing now. Why were you all banged up? Were you investigating something all the way back in our town—something people were willing to fight you over?”
I’d thought Logan had looked obstinate before, but now his demeanor turned absolutely impenetrable. “That’s none of your business.”
I pushed myself off the doorframe and took a step toward him. “No, I think it is my business. I was there with you then, and I’m here now. I need to understand. You didn’t want me to know what you’d been doing. And then, after— You can’t tell me that you shut me out and blocked me everywhere because you assumed I’d be clingy or something.Youwere just as into it as I was. You kissed me first. And I was already giving you nothing but space up until that night. So there’s got to be something else, maybe something you’re keeping me out of—”
“For fuck’s sake, Madelyn,” Logan broke in, his tone gone harsh. “Not everything is about you. We hooked up, we both got off, and that’s the end of it. It didn’t mean anything, and it doesn’t have anything to do with anything else in my life. I’m not interested in talking about anything to do with that night, especially the part you were involved in. Because you know what? I try not to think about it at all.”
His words and the way he spat them at me hit me like a slap to the face. Shame washed over me, but with it came a surge of anger that he was making me feel ashamed for what I’d said. For letting that night have any importance at all.
Why should I even bother finding out what was going on if this was how he wanted things to be? Why was I wasting any more energy on this jerk than I already had? Nothing I’d done in the past week had made a speck of difference to him.
“You know what?” I snapped back, my patience frayed. “You should consider yourself lucky that I’ve cared as much about howyoufeel about things as I do. I gave you two years to get your head out of your ass and apologize forbeingsuch an ass, or at least give me something resembling an explanation. I’ve done nothing but keep out of your way until now. So forgive me for thinking you might treat me with even as much respect as you’d give some stranger you don’t even know.”
I spun around and shoved past the door. My feet didn’t stop moving until I’d put the law library far behind me. I stalled at the edge of the path, a tremble running through my body, and rubbed my hands over my face.
I hadn’t meant to lose my temper. But… we’d shared something, whether Logan wanted to admit it or not. Either that, or he’d sure as hell pretended to be affected by our hookup while it was happening. The things he’d said… He’d had no reason to lie if he’d planned on ghosting me right after.
He wasn’t interested in me that way now, and that was fine, but he had no excuse for being so hostile. Unless he was hiding something. But why couldn’t he trust me even a tiny bit after everything we’d been through just this week?
I glanced across the lawn toward the parking lot outside my dorm, which I’d stormed toward without really thinking about it. My gaze settled on my car—the car we’d worked together to recover. An unexpected sense of resolve rose up inside me.
I set off toward the car, my hands balling at my sides. I was going to prove to him once and for all that I was his equal, not some useless, clingy girl. And if he still didn’t want to see it, at least I’d have proven it definitively to myself. He could go drown in his troubles for all I cared, but I’d look after what mattered to me for myself.
