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“I don’t need to say no to Roman, Hads,” I huffed. And, look, it wasn’t entirely a lie. I didn’t need to say no to Roman because he never asked for anything I wasn’t willing to give him; he just always knew what I wanted and what I needed and when. “But, I mean… Am I his girlfriend? How does this work?”
“You won’t have to catch the bus, if that’s what you’re worried about. Everyone knows Piper Barlow is too sweet and innocent to hook up with the brooding bad boy. Mind you, you’re wasting averydecent opportunity there.”
I frowned at her. “Hads, I’m serious. How does this all work? What do I do? What does he expect?”
The teacher walked in and Hadley just looked at me like I was a foreign breed as she laughed, shook her head and got ready for the lesson.
But, I was panicking; I had no answers to my questions and no idea where I was supposed to sit with Mason. So, I barely paid attention through the whole of class. I made about half a page – if that – of useless, illegible notes while my mind wandered around in ever shrinking circles.
By the end of class, Hadley had to hit me to get me to pack up my stuff and stand up. I followed her vaguely out of the classroom and through the rest of the day in a slightly embarrassing blur. Hadley was constantly elbowing me to get me to pay attention and I was constantly apologising to people and telling them how badly I’d slept.
So, when I heard my name and an arm pulled me to face them at Lunch, my automatic reaction was, “Sorry. Didn’t sleep well last night. Bit out of it.”
I vaguely registered narrowed eyebrows. “Yeah, I remember. I was there. What’s with the apology? What’s the matter? You’ve looked out of it all day.”
I blinked and focussed on the comforting image of Roman’s face; even defiant, he was a comfort. I shook my head and looked around, feeling that weird antsy feeling I hadn’t had in a long time. “I don’t know.”
“What did he do?” Roman looked up quickly and my focus was drawn back by the movement. He was looking around the oval, scowling a fury.
“No. He didn’t…” I sighed. “He asked me out.”
Roman’s head snapped back to me so quickly I thoughtIgot whiplash. “What?” His voice was dead cold.
I was surprised by his reaction and it sent an uncomfortable chill through me. “Mason asked me out.”
“Another group outing, then?” Was that a hint of hope amid the condescending mockery in Roman’s voice? Surely not.
I looked down and didn’t answer until he’d tipped my chin back up to face him, something very akin to panic in his eyes even though the rest of his face was stony. I knew I had to be imagining it, but something about it called to me. But, I either refused to understand what it meant or I just didn’t understand it.
“Uh, no. Movie. Food. Just him and me.”
Roman snatched his hand back as though I’d stung it, took a noticeable step backwards and cleared his throat. “Right, well. About time, too. Fucker should have manned up weeks ago.” He ran a hand through his hair as his other hand dug around in his blazer pocket in that familiar motion that was him looking for his cigarette packet.
He pulled one out and lit it. For some reason, I looked around to check if any teachers were around to see. But, they were rarely on the oval and they even more rarely tried to tell Roman off for smoking anymore. I’d started to think that, as long as he showed up and didn’t cause a ruckus, they were happy to leave him be. So I didn’t know why I did then, because I’d never worried about it before.
“I… Uh…” I cleared my throat, not sure why it was suddenly so awkward. “So, I um have no idea what it means, of course. And Hads is being no help, naturally. But, well… Yay. A date!” I don’t know how sincere I sounded to him. To me, I sounded like I was heading for an execution or something.
Which wasn’t fair and I didn’t know why I was reacting like that.
I liked Mason, a lot. He was nice and kind and hot, he was funny and smart and good at sport. There was no reason not to be totally ecstatic that he’d finally asked me out. It meant no more waiting, it meant no more wondering. I wanted to go out with him…
Didn’t I?
“Piper,” Roman snapped and I looked at him. “I get that the fantasy of your date with Carter is totally dreamy, but I asked if you needed a ride home.”
My skin crawled at his tone, but I wasn’t offended by it. It wasn’t the first time he’d snapped at me and it wouldn’t be the last; I wasn’t going to judge or blame him for whatever had put him in a bad mood.
“I wasn’t daydreaming about my date, thank you,” I snapped back, surprising myself. “I just don’t know where this leaves me. I don’t do this whole dating thing well, all right?”
Roman blew out a stream of smoke, frowning. “How can you be bad at it? You get asked out, you go on a date, you hook up. It’s really not that hard, Barlow.”
I frowned right back at him. “It is, actually. Are we dating now? Girlfriend-boyfriend? Are we one of those couples that just go on some dates? What do I do?”
“Well,we’renothing,” Roman answered smoothly and I felt kicked in the gut. “Seriously, Barlow, you worry about everything.”
“We’re nothing?” I repeated, that empty feeling creeping in.
Roman shrugged. “We’re nothing more than what we are.”
