AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Shut up.”
We walked along in silence for a while. As we came towards the last few trees, he grabbed my arm gently.
“Look, I don’t make a habit of telling anyone to expect more than what I’ll give them, Barlow. If girls expect more after, it’s because they’ve created whole fantasies in their heads. What you see is what you get with me. That they forget that and think they can change me is not my fault.”
You could probably do something about that. Multiple somethings even…is not a thing I said out loud.
Instead I looked up at him, trying to figure him out. There was something beseeching in him, something that made me think he was being completely sincere. But, I wondered why the hell he’d feel the need to be sincere about something like that with me. It seemed a very un-Roman move in my opinion.
Sure, I’d love for him to turn around and tell me that all the stories were wrong, that really he was a decent guy. I wanted him to deny it all. I didn’t need a reminder that the guy I’d been hanging out with went through girls like it was going out of fashion and he was completely unapologetic. On some level it bothered me. On another, I was pleased he was being honest with me. But, I just couldn’t help feeling a little bothered by it deep down and that annoyed me because I shouldn’t be bothered by that.
“I can’t be changed, Piper…” he said slowly and I knew he believed it.
I nodded curtly. “Iam well aware of that fact.” Although, hadn’t he seemed to have changed recently?
“And, yet you’re still here.”
I scoffed and hoped maybe my insides would stop twisting unpleasantly. “I don’t know what you’re expecting to happen here, Lombardi. But, I wasn’t under the impression your inability to change would have any effect on my life. Far as I can tell, we’re just two people having an extended pity party and you’re supposed to be teaching me how to skip stones.”
“You don’t seem particularly funky tonight,” he pointed out.
“Neither do you.”
He ran a hand over his jaw. “Well, I had something to look forward to tonight.”
Here the twisting turned to squirming. Then my heart beat erratically in the face of his complete suaveness. “If you have more important or exciting things – or people – to do tonight, I can skip stones by myself.”
“I was talking about you, Barlow. For some reason, you calm me. You make me feel…settled. Wrestling Maddy into bed tonight was a piece of cake knowing I was going to be meeting up with you after. The fact I might get to laugh at you was just icing. Come on, then.”
“Is this why girls expect more from you?” I asked and he stopped.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I mean… What? You tell them not expect anything, then you pop out with things like that. I don’t blame them for their expectations if you tell them things like that.”
He huffed. “Yeah no. I don’t make it a habit to talk to girls. The wordiest I get is telling them how I want it or them.”
“So, what makes me different?”
“I’m not promising you anything either.”
“Aren’t you?” I asked, certainly feeling like there was a promise of something going on here.
He looked me over carefully. “No, Piper. I… I like hanging out with you. You’re comforting,” he said slowly. “But, I’m too broken to ever be good enough for you.”
I wasn’t sure what to respond to that, so I took a leaf out of his book and brushed it off. “Okay. Good. We’re on the same page then.”
He gave that humourless laugh. “Exactly. We feel better together. Let’s not overthink it.”
He headed towards the water and I took a moment to move after him as I was busy trying not to overthink it.
I couldn’t deny it. Roman made it easier to breathe, easier to be me. No matter how anxious I was feeling, a few minutes with Roman and I had a respite from it all. It was absolute craziness and I’d deny it to anyone who asked. But, I also couldn’t help the fact that it was becoming harder to deny I was drawn to more than just the settled feeling he gave me.
He looked back at me and sighed before coming back. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the water. “Lesson one, the closer to the water you are, the easier it is.”
I laughed as I stopped thinking and waited to see what lesson two would be.
