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We stood awkwardly for a moment, then I ducked my head and went inside. Before I closed the curtains behind me, I looked back at him and wondered again where the Roman I thought I knew was.
But then, maybe he was still the Roman he’d always been and I was just seeing him differently, seeing a little more of him. Just like I was still Piper with him, just a version of me I didn’t show the world.
“Hey, sweetie,” Mum said and I turned to find her pouring hot water into a mug. “Was that Roman I just saw?”
I blinked. “Uh, yes…”
She pursed her lips like she was trying not to smile. “I see.”
“No. Nothing to see here!” I said far too quickly.
Mum did smile then. “Of course not.”
“Nothing happened.”
Mum looked me over. “Darling, when you walk into the house with a smile like that on your face after seeing a boy like Roman? I won’t judge anything that happened as long as you were being sensible.”
My cheeks flamed; the last thing I needed was for my parents to think I was…up to things with Roman. Although, my embarrassment at the idea probably solidified in her mind that we had been up to…things.
“No need. We skipped stones, listened to music, got rained on… You know, the usual.” I chuckled self-deprecatingly.
Mum stirred her tea and nodded. “Of course, sweetie. Don’t worry. I get it. Roman has that bad boy thing going for him, a little danger, and Mason’s a different kind of boy.”
There was a knowingly teasing look on her face that had me skip over the part about how it was apparently okay I was hanging out with Roman.
“Mason and I… Well, I don’t know. I think I’m hoping he’ll ask me out when he gets home?”
“Really?”
I nodded. “Yes. In fact, I should go and check if he’s emailed again. And… And, reply to him if he has.” Dear God, how could my own mother make me feel so nervous about literally nothing?
“I wouldn’t mention Roman, darling. Keephimfor your dreams tonight.” She gave me a wink and swanned up to her bedroom.
I stood at the bottom of the stairs and didn’t really know what to say or to think. My first thought was that Mum and Dad had had a couple more wines after dinner than usual. It didn’t happen often, but she got super mellow when she drank a little. Like hippie mellow. Free love and tattoos and weed kind of mellow.
I shucked my jacket, realising that I was dripping all over the floor and ran up to my room. Thankfully, I didn’t see Dad. But, Mum wasn’t likely to have told Dad anything. Not when we’d just been doing what she called ‘mother-daughter bonding’.
I pushed into my room and closed the door. I dropped my jacket over my desk chair and pulled off my jumper. Somehow, I found myself at my window and I didn’t realise I was looking for Roman until I found him leaning against a tree. At least, I assumed the dark, person-shaped blob with the orange spark was Roman smoking as he leant against a tree.
The shadow gave me a wave and I waved back.
It wasn’t until I closed my curtains and gone to pull my singlet off that I realised I’d pulled said singlet off with my jumper and had been standing in my window in nothing but a black bra. As my cheeks flamed and I turned on my laptop, I just had to hope he hadn’t noticed.
I pulled on some warm pyjamas then enthusiastically read and replied to Mason’s most recent email. I’d never really thought about Europe outside a vague notion that it would be nice to go one day. But, Mason made it sound amazing and the pictures were great.
I thought I’d fall asleep thinking about Europe. At the very least, I expected to be thinking about John Cusack in Europe – thanks to my latest movie choice, this timeAmerica’s Sweethearts. But, I didn’t. As I lay in bed, trying to sleep, all I could think about was Roman.
I even got out of bed and snuck a look out my curtains, but I didn’t see him. I had a mad urge to get dressed and go down to the lake to see if he was there.
“That is ridiculous,” I muttered to myself as I forced myself back into bed.
It might have been ridiculous. But, it might have been better than lying in bed awake for hours thinking about him. At least, it was one of the first nights in a long time that I wasn’t stressed about not sleeping or just generally anxious.
I wasn’t sure I liked that he had that effect on me, but it was preferable to the uncomfortable way the unnecessary anxiety sat in my chest.
