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“You really want to know what could possibly happen if I lost control around you, Barlow?” he asked, slowly and deliberately so there was no way I could misunderstand him. He certainly sounded like he was barely holding on to his self-control.
I licked my bottom lip and it caught in my teeth.
“Be sure about this. Because you drive me crazy, Piper. This week’s been a serious test of my control.” His voice shook like it was taking everything he had to keep himself together.
I was still pissed with him. So, maybe I nodded as much to taunt him as I really wanted to know. I’d barely nodded once when he’d pushed me against the cab of his ute, pulling my legs around his waist. As his lips crashed down on mine, rain poured down and thunder rumbled above us. He was hard against me and I was totally lost in everything about him for what felt like hours as he kissed me and it felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him. Hands roamed, lips were bitten, and we rubbed against each other feverishly. Then, I felt his hand between us.
My eyes flew open and caught his as he pulled back slightly. Lightning burst over us and his gorgeous face flashed bright like it was the only thing in my world. He looked just as angry as I felt, but his dark eyes held more than I could fathom in that second and my heart constricted. We both breathed heavily and I nodded. He searched my eyes and I nodded again.
I took his face in my hands and pulled him back to me. He kissed me again, then my undies were pushed aside and he was sliding into me. I held onto him for dear life as he rocked my world in the least gentle way possible.
I barely registered the pain and discomfort as pleasure took over. I’d never finished that hard or that fast, and it put those two attempts at masturbation to shame. Even after hearing all the stories about him, I didn’t expect the weird sense of passion or protectiveness that swirled through the anger of the moment.
As we both panted, still joined, I lifted my face to the rain and took a deep breath. “So…that…” I started. “That’s what happens when you lose control?”
His face dipped into my neck and his breath against my skin made me shiver all over again. “Around you, apparently.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I felt him shrug and he pulled back to look at me, still breathing hard. “I don’t know what it is about you, Barlow. But, you do something to me.” He paused and I felt him tense before he dropped his head onto my shoulder. “Fuck!”
“What?”
“What?” he chuckled, but there was no humour in it. “How about I was a completely irresponsible arsehole? Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
He pulled out of me and tucked himself back into his pants as he turned around.
“What are you…? Oh…” I breathed as it hit me. Panic surged for a moment, then I told myself to calm down. “I finished last week, I’m sure it’s fine…”
He turned back to me for a second. “Are you on the pill?”
I shrugged. “I am. For…other things.”
He was standing in front of me and took my hands in his. “I swear that is the first time that’s happened. I’ve been safe every other time. I’m clean.”
I nodded, feeling my face flush. “I trust you, Roman. It’ll be fine.”
He pulled me to him and held me close. “I’m sorry, Piper.”
“I thought there were no apologies?”
“For this, there aren’t enough.”
“I get I’m no expert or anything, but do I get none of the blame?”
He huffed a laugh and kissed my hair. “No. No, you definitely don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Firstly, I have a perfectly good condom in my pocket. Secondly, it’s completely up to me to make sure I take necessary steps to ensure I don’t end up with unwanted consequences.”
“So, should I not as well?” I appreciated the sentiment, but I did feel like this went both ways.
He shook his head and took my face in his hands. “You’re responsible for what your body can do, sure. But, I’m responsible for mine. It doesn’t matter how you make me feel, I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away.”
“We both got carried away…”
“Yeah, we did. But, you’re not fertile every day of the year, are you? I don’t expect you to be on the pill and I have no respect for guys who do. If we don’t want a kid out of it, it’s really not that difficult to be prepared. And a condom is seriously cheaper than alimony.”
