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I nodded. “Perfect. Thanks.”
“Wonderful. Take a seat, love.”
I pulled myself onto one of the breakfast bar stools. She talked to me as she went around the kitchen, making coffee and putting the groceries away. I was firmly refused when I offered to help and Carmen just seemed happy to natter about Roman, Maddy, Paris, the gardening, anything.
Oddly, I didn’t feel anything but comfortable. Carmen was funny and lovely and I tried hard to connect her with the guy who seemed to have written himself off. But, then I could hardly talk, could I? My life was supposed to be perfect, and I was still me. I just hid it while Roman seemed to prefer revelling in it.
“How’s school going?” she finally asked, leaning over the kitchen bench towards me.
I swallowed my mouthful of coffee and nodded. “Uh, it’s okay I think.” I smiled. “Stress is mounting and teachers are simultaneously trying to make us work our arses off and stop us panicking at the same time.”
Carmen grinned. “I can imagine. The pressures on you kids today. You know, when I was in Year Twelve, I took the Biology exam?”
I raised my eyebrow at her, wondering where this was going. “Really?”
She nodded. “I got a C. I didn’t even take Biology.”
I laughed. “That hardly seems fair.”
Her smile was so much like Roman’s. “I agree.” She looked me over carefully for a minute in that calculating way mums have. “Have you seen Roman much this week?”
I licked my lip. “Uh, yeah. We’ve found ourselves at the lake every night actually.”
She nodded. “I’m glad.”
“Oh, we’re not–”
“Oh love, I didn’t think you were. My son isn’t that type and you’re much too smart. But, I’m glad he’s been under a good influence. Rio’s a sweet boy really, but he hides it under a mountain of pain, anger and poor choices. I think that’s what drew them together in the first place, the two of them are the same.” She paused and brightened. “You know, when Roman was Maddy’s age, he was convinced he was going to be a ballerina?”
“No!” I gasped, trying hard not to laugh. But, I pictured Roman as he was now – all hard and muscular and broody – in those pink ballet outfits and I couldn’t help it. “Tell me more.”
And, she did.
Which is why I was in fits of laughter, tears streaming down my face, when a sleepy Roman walked into the kitchen in all states of confusion.
“Morning, love– Well, afternoon. Almost,” Carmen chuckled as she turned the coffee machine on again.
“Barlow?” he asked, his voice rough from sleep.
I was going to extraordinary lengths to tell myself that I wasn’t at all affected by the sight of him in nothing but tracksuit pants that left little to the imagination. His hair was messy from sleeping on it, his eyes unfocussed, and his voice thick and low.
It did nothing for me. Well, nothing more than physical. I was going to stop refusing to admit I was attracted to him. Because he was attractive. But, it went no deeper than the physical. It couldn’t go deeper than the physical.
Roman was someone who I think I considered a friend and we happened to have had sex and now he was probably done with me.
That idea conflicted in me. On one hand, if he was done with me, then good because I didn’t have to worry what came next. On the other, a part of me would miss his easy calm. So naturally, my brain totally overthought everything in that moment and the anxiety set in. I felt my heart flutter, my mouth went dry and my hands went hot.
“Lombardi, hi.”
“What are you…?” he asked, looking between his mum and me in complete confusion. I could have seriously done without the dragging his hand through his hair thing.
“Uh, I should probably go,” I chuckled nervously.
“Are you sure, love?” Carmen asked.
I nodded.
“Well, thank you for your help with the bags.”
