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Finn’s heated gaze was still on me, waiting for an answer.
The seconds ticked passed, the three of us awkwardly watching each other before I did the only thing that made sense.
Typical Harlow-style.
I tried to shut the door.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Finn grunted, shoving his hand in between the door and the frame. “Don’t you dare run away from this. You can’t avoid all confrontation.”
I squeaked as I threw my weight against the door, trying to close it on him. I was aware of his hand in the danger spot but somehow knew I wasn’t going to win this battle of strength so I just continued pushing anyway.
My feet slid along the carpet, struggling to grip as the door was slowly pushed against my weight back into my room.
“No no no no no...” I muttered, giving one last pathetic shove at the wooden protective door while I watched in horror as Finn slipped inside my room. He quickly moved out of the way, letting go of the door. I still had my weight pressed against it, and both the door and I fell forward with an audible bang.
My throat closed up as I stared at my too-tall ex standing in my room, looking at me with a scolding look, as if he was about to have words with a child.
“Harlow Elizabeth Falls. What the fuck is going on?”
“You can’t be here...” I muttered, gluing my eyes on the floor as I shuffled back towards the window.
Finn’s feet moved in my view, stepping closer to me. The itching desire to step back was tugging at me as panic set in.
“You know, Har. I’ve heard the rumors. I’ve heard the talk. I’ve seen the newspapers. I also know how much you always feared being alone, how you seek others for comfort.”
My eyes shot up, a snappy defensive remark on the tip of my tongue but he held up a hand to stop me.
“There’s no shame in that. It’s normal to need other humans... to want to be loved,” he crossed his arms as he tilted his head at me. “But what confuses me is that knowing all that, you are still pushing away the people who actually want to be near you. Why?”
The demand in his tone wasn’t missed and I hugged myself as I finally stepped back, sitting down on my window sill.
“It’s easier to be alone than to risk the pain of losing someone.”
The hardness in Finn’s face fell as recognition swept over his face. The visible pain as we both re-lived our goodbye while standing in my cramped small apartment bedroom.
Finally, he sighed, breaking the silence as he walked over to my bed and sat on the edge.
“I’ve thought about it a lot. It hurt me too, Harlow. Neither one of us got the better end of the stick.”
“I know,” I murmured, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them tight.
“I’m trying to help you.”
Genuine confusion wracked me as I looked at him across the room. “Why?”
“Because I care about you,” he answered without hesitation. “Is that so hard to understand?”
Laughter escaped my mouth causing him to raise an eyebrow at me.
“Yes, Finn. It is hard to understand. Look around us. I’m the most hated person in the city. I went from being loved and respected, to being nothing. Fucking nothing. So excuse me if I have trust issues. Every single person I’ve ever known has turned on me. And the ones that didn’t... they ended up dead.”
Finn at least had the decency to flinch, the news of my parents not a secret to anyone. Yet, it wasn’t enough to erase the hate or cast doubt on the accusations made against me.
Before either one of us could speak again, the door creaked open. Dex stood in the door way, looking between us with uncertainty, and unless I was mistaken... a hint of fucking jealousy.
“Everything okay in here?” he asked.
Finn nodded but all I could do was look out the window. I never had a good poker face. And the two of them were making me show all my cards.
The city outside was quiet below. People pounded the footpath, cars were moving quite well in traffic and the vendor carts were starting to pack up for the day.
My eyes narrowed in on the coffee cart, a spring of wanting in my stomach as I thought of lattes. A few exhausted night owls were hanging around, drinking coffee. I almost laughed because I, too could definitely drink coffee at any point of the day and not be affected.
The little garden bed on the side walk was starting to blossom, a picturesque row of red and white flowers coming to life. Except some asshole had left their belongings on it. I could just make out the bunch of material – a sweater or business jacket maybe. I squinted to get a better look, realizing there were more items dumped in the flower bed.
Garbage, paperwork I think, and....
Rope.
A bunch of fucking rope.
My mouth popped open as I hurriedly leaned forward, my head clipping the glass as I pressed my face against it trying to get a better look. We were too far up... the items tiny from this view.
But unless I was mistaken...
That was my fucking jacket.
