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Chapter 4
Harlow
Myfootstepspoundedon the ground as frantically as my heart, which was threatening to exit my ribcage.
The moment the elevator doors opened on the ground floor, I sprinted out, dodging the stragglers in the foyer. When I was safely on the street, I pushed through the heat of the crowd, reaching for my phone in my bag. I dialled emergency services, looking behind me, expecting the dark shadow to appear at any given second. To my relief, and fear, he was nowhere to be seen. But that didn’t matter – I knew him well enough now to know he was smart and fearless. With nothing to lose, he had everything to gain and even though he wasn’t here, I could almost feel him still.
“Emergency Services. What is your emergency?” A high-pitched calming voice asked down the phone.
“I’m being stalked,” I spluttered out, “I think they were trying to kidnap me. They were in my work building.”
“Okay Miss. Please stay calm. I’ll arrange to send a patrol car out. What’s your name?” I could hear her nails clicking on the keyboard.
“Harlow Falls.”
Silence.
The keyboard stopped and I could faintly hear her breathing. My walking slowed slightly, my heart and sanity clinging to the phone like a lifeline.
“I... I’ll organise to send someone out, Miss Falls. Thank you for calling.”
“Wait! I haven’t even given you the address. Please!”
I could hear the dispatcher hesitating, torn between wanting to morally help, and wanting to hang up, the stories about me clearly in her mind.
“I’m sorry...” I heard her mutter with a cracked broken voice, making her decision as the phone clicked off.
Squeezing my eyes shut in hurt and frustration, I paused for a brief second before pushing on to my apartment building. I still couldn’t believe that in this day and age, someone could be so hated that even emergency services could be denied or delayed based on rumors. It certainly didn’t help that when everything fell to shit, I had tried to tell the police and investigators that I had a stalker. How he had stalked me the night at the City Dinner. But according to witness reports and their camera footage, no such person existed. I tried to show them the message and call log on my phone, but by the time they agreed to look, everything had completely vanished. It was as if something or someone was deleting everything.
No one believed me. Yet this stalker was getting close again. The thought of what he would do to me once he caught me made my stomach heave.
My eyes burned with unshed tears as I power-walked back home, not even acknowledging Jeff as he stood next to the entrance to the double doors. The usual murmurs from the downstairs crowd dripped off me like water, the voices sounding a million miles away as tunnel vision set in. My heart was racing, and my skin felt clammy – a thin layer of perspiration coating it as I jammed my finger into the elevator button to take me upstairs.
The elevators metal walls faded from my eyesight, the image replaced with broken glass, the contents of the wine glass surrounding my feet. The world was swimming, and a distorted voice was on repeat in my mind.
“I’m going to make you mine. You’re going to look so beautiful broken. Like a porcelain doll with a cracked face.”
The fog was creeping in. Thick, grey fog that not only covered my eyes, but choked me within an inch of my life. I could just make out small cracks in the haze, enough to see the elevator doors open on my floor, and my legs automatically carried me out towards the apartment door.
Coldness. My skin was cold, but flushed red from fear. Every single nerve ending in my body was spiking with adrenaline, alight with the flight or fight response. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe... all I could hear was his voice taunting me over and over.
How could I live like this? Maybe I deserved it. The whole town seemed to think I had done something wrong, even though I didn’t remember it. Did I? No, I definitely didn’t.
Or did I?
Maybe I was the one wrong all this time. Maybe it is my fault.
Maybe I am the cataclysm of Maxwell.
I felt my feet trip and I stumbled forward. My shaking body crashed into my apartment door, my legs giving out as I ended up in a saggy heap at the foot of it.
Why was there no air? I couldn’t breathe. Someone had stolen all the air from the hallway.
Panic rushed through me as I tried to desperately take gulps – my body and lungs screaming for relief. Or mercy.
There was a wounded animal nearby, I could hear it crying out, its yelps increasing in volume and intensity. Someone needed help. Where was the help?
I couldn’t... I couldn’t.... I can’t....
“Harlow! ... Fuck, Harlow you need to breathe. Can you hear me?”
The familiar voice was muffled, like I was underwater. I was drowning, and truth be told, I welcomed it. Maybe this was the sign that I was better off gone. I had nothing anyways – mom and dad were gone. I was barely surviving financially, I had no friends or support.
I was the most hated person in the city.
I had hit rock bottom with broken legs and an avalanche caving me in.
“Help me get her inside. She’s shaking.”
I vaguely felt warm hands grab the back of my knees, fingers digging into my calves as another set wrapped themselves under my arms, my back hitting someone’s chest.
I must be dreaming for sure because I was alone. I had to be.
I always was.
My back hit something soft, my body sinking into the gentle fabric beneath me. I let out a violent gasp as cold water touched my forehead, a wet rag draping over my face, the ends nearly covering my eyes. Blinking, the haze slowly cleared, the distorted voices promising sweet destruction, fading.
I blinked rapidly, desperate to clear the fog that was engulfing me. My heart was beating so fast against my ribcage that I was sure my companions could hear it. Wait... companions?
The thought and concept of having people willingly near me was so foreign now that for a moment, I wondered if I had blacked out completely. But my curious eyes landed on familiar green ones and suddenly it felt like I had time travelled back to a different era.
Dex stared at me, confusion and worry clear on his face as he took in my dishevelled state. My heart ached but not from the pounding, but the painful glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, I could get my life back. The hope that the last 6 months of torture were not as endless as it seemed.
My mouth felt dry and I opened it to say something but nothing came out. I was absolutely terrified – both from the horror I had endured at the office, and the fear that if I spoke it would ruin the moment and Dex would laugh at my fucked up state. I couldn’t handle it. It would be too much to bear to have something else shatter right now.
Movement dragged my attention over to the tall blonde standing in the corner. I think his name was Oliver. I recognized him from past visits to the apartment. From memory, he was one of Dex’s work friends.
Oliver’s light blue eyes tracked over me cautiously, his expression guarded. I looked back at Dex, his lips curled up with words stuck on his tongue. The tension was unpalatable, and fuck it made my anxiety heighten and crack.
My mind started playing scenarios in my head – the two of them laughing, telling me I deserved it and that I should have let shadow-man capture me. That I was worthless... a disgrace... that everything was my fault.
Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes and I quickly shot up from the couch. My fingers dug into the soft, grey material before brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down my cheek.
I noticed my bag by the front door, some of the contents spread out onto the carpet. My vision was still a bit hazy as I hastily made my way to it, scooping up my lipstick, a tampon, and phone and shoving it back into the bag. My hand was gripped around the strap like a vice as I stumbled past the two guys towards my room.
“Harlow, wait...” I heard Dex say, my heart tightening with hurt as I so desperately fought the urge to stop and listen to him. I had missed his voice, missed the way he said my name.
All I had wanted for the past 6 months was for someone to care, someone to acknowledge me. And now my mental anguish and trauma pushed that desire for comfort aside. All I wanted now was to forget and to hide. Because all I felt was the darkness pulling me in and against my rational thinking, I welcomed it.
I slammed my bedroom door shut behind me, my body falling against it heavily as I slowly sank to the floor. On the other side of the door, I could hear mumbled voices but I couldn’t make out words. Footsteps sounded, growing louder as they reached my door. The soft rap of knuckles on the wood made me jump but I didn’t leave my position. I pulled my legs up to my chest, tucking my head between my knees as I curled myself into the foetal position.
“Harlow...” Dex murmured through the door, “Are you okay?”
I met his question with silence and he didn’t ask anything further. But he stayed outside the door for a minute before finally walking away. The TV turned on in the living room, the two of them going back to their lives as mine continued to crumble.
