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‘I know.’
Lili hoped that meant what she thought it meant; Hannah would not only let Ray and Sarah into Maisie’s life, but she would start thinking about building bridges with her mum and dad. She knew Hannah’s parents had done a bad thing, sending her away into care when she was in her teens, but perhaps they’d felt it was the right thing to do at the time. She thought of Ray; she knew it didn’t mean they had no regrets. She’d be prepared to bet they lived with those regrets every single day. For Maisie’s sake, and for her own, it was worth the conversation to find out.
It made her wonder about her mother and what had led to her estrangement from her family. The only thing she had to go on was the small titbit of information Connie had gleaned that hinted at a secret she had uncovered.
Lili hugged her best friend. Hannah was right: she wanted to find her relatives – she always had. She wanted to find her grandparents and discover what had caused the family rift.
Aware that time was getting on, Lili drew back and said, ‘I’d better go.’
‘I know.’
Hannah grabbed her hand. ‘Remember your promise.’
Lili glanced at Maisie. ‘I will. But Hannah, believe me, nothing bad is going to happen.’
The look on Hannah’s face told Lili she wasn’t convinced.
‘I’ll be back before you know it,’ Lili said as she opened the car door. She noticed that her words didn’t seem to cheer Hannah up.
Lili expected the rush of cold air to wake Maisie, but she was sound asleep. Although Lili was disappointed that she couldn’t give her a hug and kiss goodbye, she said to Hannah, ‘Tell Maisie I will be back soon, okay?’
‘Okay.’
Lili lingered for a moment, still unsure after the odd conversation with Hannah that she should leave.
Hannah noticed her hesitating. ‘Please go, Lili. I’ll be fine.’
Lili didn’t believe her. Even so, now her flight was booked, and she was at the airport, Lili was surprised at how she was feeling; nervous but excited at the prospect of tracing her relatives. She was ready to return to Corfu and be in the place where her parents were last alive, and where she had lived with them for a time.
As Lili made her way to the airport terminal, she tried not the think of the enormity of the point in her life that she had reached. In one horrible day, when Hannah turned up at The Summerhouse, her life had disintegrated; she’d had to leave Aldeburgh and then, to cap it all, Connie had turned out not to be the trusted friend Lili had thought she was. On top of all that, Alex had texted again; he was leaving for Washington soon – he still wanted to meet up before he left. It was her choice to go to Corfu instead. She wondered if she was having regrets. What if he wanted to get back together? Now, she would never know.
All she had brought with her was her dwindling savings, what she owned in a small suitcase and a plane ticket to an island she barely remembered. The box from FedEx with the remainder of her possessions was now stored on Ray’s boat. She stopped in front of the check-in desk. She found she was having second thoughts; not just about this trip, but about letting Ray dig into her past. Despite Hannah being upbeat about the prospect of her finding her family, a part of Lili wondered if Connie was right. Maybe the past should be left in the past. For the first time, Lili was feeling apprehensive about what she might discover.
She recalled the conversation with Connie when she’d asked the reason for sending her to that boarding school in Suffolk. That was when Connie had said that Lili’s mum had talked about an area in Suffolk, a town she’d once visited on the trail of her family history. Lili recalled what she’d told her:When I was choosing your school, I remembered your mother had talked about a place in Suffolk, a town she’d once visited with you on the trail of some family history. I thought that if I sent you there, then you would be in an area with some connection to your past, however tenuous … I hoped if she resurfaced and returned to England… Connie had trailed off.
… that she might find me. Lili remembered replying.
That would never happen now; her mother was long dead. But she had found Joseph, eventually. Lili had a feeling that she was connected somehow to his family, and whatever secret she might uncover would not be to anyone’s liking.
Despite all that, she handed over her passport and checked in her bag. If nothing else, at least she could visit her mother’s grave and pay her respects. After this trip, Lili doubted she’d go back.
