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28
Do I Really Want To Know?
PARKER
It’s raining again. April sucks in The Big Apple. I open my umbrella as I walk with the throngs of other New Yorkers, all of them ready to face the dark, raging clouds above as they converge over the city before loud claps of thunder break loose.
I glance up at the sky as fat, cold drops of rain slide against my cheeks, dampening my mood even more.
It’s 4 p.m. just after I leave Gulliver Books. June was desperate to get me to come with her to SoHo for drinks at a new nightclub, but I had to turn her down because I got a text from Ryan. He wants to meet at a cafe and I would have backed out, but he insists that it’s urgent.
Blowing out a deep breath, a cloud of mist forms in front of my face as I glance at the location that Ryan sent me in our texts. Just as I round the block, I see the small cafe come into view with a wooden board just above its door.Vintage Manhattan Grindis printed across the moldy surface.
I cross the street and before I can step into the cafe, I peek inside the cafe. It’s warm and cozy, like a writer’s den. Of course, Ryan will choose a place like this. He knows what I like.
Pushing the door open, my nose is assaulted with strong coffee and freshly baked pastries, along with the lingering undertone of something burning. A warm yellow light spills over the cafe as I close the door behind me.
The cafe is rustic, with dark stained wooden decor and vintage oil lamps positioned on the wall along with a bookcase at one end, reminding me of a cafe in the darkened streets of London.
It’s not that busy so I glance around and spot Ryan’s blonde head at one of the wooden booths, his fingers interlaced.
As I approach him, he looks up and a wide smile pulls at his lips. “Hey, I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I didn’t either.” I slide into the seat across from him.
The last time I saw him, he was in a hospital bed, barely clinging to life. The only remnants of his fall now are his crooked nose and a fading bruise on his jawline.
“How are you?” he asks. “Miles told me he saw you on St. Patrick’s day.”
Great, he’s keeping tabs on me again. It feels weird sitting here and talking to him. We’d dated for six months and never really gotten to that emotional stage, so now it feels like we were playing boyfriend and girlfriend for six months and there never was going to be more to that story.
I clear my throat and nod. “Yeah, we ran into each other. I’m good, though. What about you? What’s going on?”
He shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m okay. I’m going to sit out this semester and reapply again next year. I decided to pursue business like my original plan.”
“That’s great to hear. How is your leg doing?” I ask.
“It’s okay. It’s healing slowly, but at least it’s healing,” he says.
I nod again, uncertain of what else to say. “You said you had something urgent to discuss with me?”
“Oh, yeah!” He sits up straighter as if he’s just remembering why he asked to meet me. “I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while, but I never really got the chance. You know with me falling off that rooftop. I swear, that night always seems to give me jitters.”
“You know everyone thought that it was a suicide attempt right?” I ask slowly.
Ryan cocks his head and laughs, before scratching the back of his head. “I dunno, was it? Everyone seemed to want to make excuses for me. But the weird thing is, I never actually said anything about that night. It always plays in the back of my mind, you know? Perhaps, fate decided to give me another shot.”
He’s rambling and not making sense and the way he’s staring at me sends a chill down my spine. It’s like he’s trying to read me. His blue eyes scan me up and down as a curious frown settles in between his thick eyebrows.
“What happened that night, Ryan? You want me to ask you that, right? What was it that drove you over the edge? I felt guilty thinking it was our breakup so please enlighten me,” I say.
Ryan laughs again, relaxing back in his seat. “Our breakup? No offense but I’d never jump off a building because you broke up with me, but anyway, let’s not dwell on the past. Let’s talk about you and your new love life. How is that going?”
“Really?” I snap. “You called me here to ask me about that?”
“Calm down.” The smile falls right off his face. “I’m worried about you. I mean you left me so damn fast, that I’m wondering, what you’ll do when you find out who your boyfriend really is.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” The anger inside me is growing fast and broken nose or not, I’m going to punch him or press my boot into his foot.
