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Even a blind man could see where this was going.
The entire audience hooted their approval, though, and Derek turned around and pointed at Killian. “Go, man, go!”
The song started off with a guitar part – which meant it was all on Killian’s shoulders.
He froze and looked at Ryan.
Meanwhile – with Derek egging them on – the entire audience started chanting, “GO, MAN, GO! GO, MAN, GO!”
Ryan sneered at Derek… and then turned to Killian and nodded.
Killian nodded back, and started playing the opening bars.
Riley joined in.
And suddenly “Jessie’s Girl” turned into “Ryan’s Girl.”
I kid you not.
Derek substituted in Ryan’s name for ‘Jessie’ every chance he got.
Ryan continued to play, but I could see him clenching his jaw from 70 feet away.
The audience ate it up. I’m sure enough of them had heard rumors from the internet that they knew what was going on, and they sang right along with Derek.
“Christ, what’s he doing?” Miles growled from my right side.
I looked over. The manager’s eyes were glued on Derek.
“He’s trying to start a fight,” I said, sick to my stomach.
112
“Jessie’s Girl” finally ended and they launched into one of the new songs, “Gold And Diamonds.” Derek didn’t alter anything in that one, but the shenanigans weren’t over yet. Not by a long shot.
As soon as it was over, he announced to the crowd, “I’m thinkin’ another cover… what about ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’?”
The Cars’ 1978 hit.
He was sticking to a theme.
Again, Killian looked panicked.
Again, Ryan nodded his consent… but he looked like he might pop out a switchblade or a Saturday Night Special any second.
Derek sang the song.
I felt sick.
Derek was trying to tear Ryan apart, all on account of me. Just because he was doing it by fucking with his head didn’t make it any less painful or brutal.
Next up was a Bigger song – “Girl, Please Stay.” Which kind of stuck to the theme.
The crowd sang along.
Another spontaneous cover followed: Blink 182’s “Dammit.”
Ryan agreed again when Killian looked at him, even though it was evident what Derek was doing. It was hard to miss when he changed the song’s lyrics to “And you know / I fucked her.”
Ryan just kept up his Death Ray looks at the back of Derek’s head.
Then, after “Dammit” was over, it all went to hell.
Derek quieted the crowd down so they could hear him. “This isn’t one we’ve actually ever done as a band before, so I don’t know if the others can play it by ear… but that’s okay, I’ll sing it
a capella
if I have to. I’d like to dedicate it to a special woman. She knows who she is.”
And then, without announcing the song to the band or waiting for any sort of accompaniment at all, he turned to me in the wings and started singing Hozier’s “Take Me To Church.”
The same song he’d sung to me from Ryan’s front lawn.
Except he didn’t start from the beginning. He started it with the chorus, right at the most sexual part of the song.
My stomach flip-flopped, because I knew what Derek was trying to do – and he succeeded.
Ryan didn’t sit still for that one.
In fact, he did something I would have thought unthinkable: he pulled off his bass guitar in a fit of rage, gripped the neck like a handle, and swung the instrument overhead, down onto the stage like an ax.
KRANG!
The instrument snapped in two, and the entire auditorium echoed with the screeching feedback.
Half of the audience gasped, and the other half cheered.
But when Ryan threw the first punch, they all screamed.
Derek saw it coming and dropped the mic. The boom of the reverb echoed across the field:
KOOM – OOM – OOM!
Derek stepped back at the last minute. Ryan’s fist still connected with Derek’s jaw, but it was a glancing blow.
And Derek was ready with the counterattack.
He lowered his head and tackled Ryan in the gut, taking him to the stage floor.
“NO!” I screamed. I tried to run towards them, but Miles grabbed my arm with a grip of steel and hauled me back.
By now the crowd was roaring – but not an excited ruckus; more of a shocked and outraged confusion.
Derek and Ryan rolled across the stage. Ryan had the height advantage, but Derek had a good 30 pounds of muscle on him – and that apparently was the deciding factor in a ground fight. Derek wound up on top, straddling Ryan, and began to pummel his face with blow after blow.
“NOOOO!” I shrieked, but by now a roadie had grabbed me and wrapped me up in his log-sized arms.
Miles was hustling security guys out onto the stage, but they were too late: Riley had already joined the fray.
She launched herself from the drums as soon as Derek tackled Ryan. Once he started punching, she jumped on Derek’s back and tried to pull him off.
I don’t know if it was deliberate or an accident, but Derek’s elbow hooked back and caught her in the face.
She tumbled to the floor, and the entire audience gasped. Hundreds screamed out “No!”
Not only did they disapprove of what Derek had done, they apparently thought Riley was down for the count.
They didn’t know Riley.
