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Which overjoyed me to no end. If Bigger had ended over me, years worth of incredible music would have gone unwritten… Derek and Ryan would have thrown away something they’ve been building for five years… Riley would have lost her surrogate family… and I would have become the most hated girlfriend in Rock ‘n Roll history. I don’t know if I could have handled that. Luckily I never had to find out.
In fact, the tension and one-upmanship between Derek and Ryan remained – and the music just got better because of it. However, they
did
finally drop the stupid squabbling and sped through the rest of the album in record time. I’m biased, but I think what resulted is their best work yet, whether you measure it by artistry or by potential #1 hits. We’ll find out soon, because the first single gets released next week, and the album drops the month after that.
Bigger And Bolder
is the title. It’s a pretty apt description for everything that’s happened since that amazing night in Austin.
Shanna once told me to go live life and write the fuckin’ article.
I did the ‘living’ part, and I’m still in the middle of it.
The writing part came in time. I have Ryan to thank for getting me started – but once Derek and I reconciled, I could finally go back and listen to all our interviews together. Suddenly I began to write, fast and furious. What I created is by far the best thing I’ve ever written in my life – but it got a lot bigger than one Rolling Stone article could handle. In fact, it turned into three books.
You’ve been reading them all along.
From this point onward, I don’t know what the future holds; I just live my life from day to day, enjoying each moment to the fullest. Ryan has hinted about the long-term, but things are perfect for me the way they are. Maybe someday… but I love things too much right now to change them.
All I know is for the first time in my entire adult life, I’m happy, and content, and fulfilled.
And I not only love both men in my life… but I’m in love with them, too.
*****
