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“Naah – other than the movie, we didn’t do much there.”
I expected him to add in something like
If we’d had sex while we were in there, then yeah,
but he kept it completely clean.
“Five Guys?”
He shrugged. “We just picked up burgers there.”
“What about the Krispy Kreme?”
For the first time, his face darkened. His expression looked caught somewhere between pain and sadness. “No. I don’t ever want to go back there.”
I froze. “I’m sorry, I just – ”
“It’s okay,” he said softly. “It’s fine. I just… I don’t want to go back. It… it hurts too much.”
I nodded miserably, and we sat in silence until our food came.
79
The awkwardness passed, and we started reminiscing again. About me comparing him to Maroon 5… about him taking off his shirt and showing his tattoos… and about his awesome ‘ass-omeness.’ By the end I was howling with laughter.
We actually ended up staying almost three hours. Derek paid some more money, we had complete privacy, and the counter guys were ecstatic.
It was almost eight o’clock when we finally walked out into the twilight. We got in the car and Derek started down the street – then made a left turn into a deserted faculty parking lot.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as he parked the car.
“You don’t remember this place?”
“Yeah, I remember,” I said, my heart beating faster. “But what are we doing here?”
“There’s some loose ends I need to tie up,” he said as he got out of the car. I sat there, unmoving, until he poked his head back in. “You coming or what?”
My hand trembled as I unbuckled the seatbelt and opened the door.
This was the parking lot where I had blindsided him about going away to Syracuse, for one thing.
It was also the first time he had tried to kiss me.
I hadn’t let him, but… I had wanted to. Desperately.
I got out of the car. He was already leaning against the BMW’s trunk, just like four years ago.
“Come over here,” he said.
I was intensely uncomfortable. He was absolutely gorgeous, his chiseled profile just barely visible in the dim street lights. And my memory of that night – of the overwhelming sexual tension between us – was starting to bleed into the here and now.
The only difference was, his whole energy was different. He was being totally non-sexual, totally non-threatening. He had stayed in the Friend Zone the entire night, without a single attempt to step out of it.
This is just him dealing with our past,
I reminded myself.
This is just him getting closure.
I walked over and stood stiffly beside him in the growing darkness.
He shook his head. “Relax. Jesus.”
“This is… this is kind of a charged place for me.”
“Yeah, for me, too. That’s why we’re here.”
“Mm,” I murmured as I leaned against the car beside him.
We stood there in silence until he finally spoke. “Do you remember what we talked about here?”
“Me going to Syracuse.”
“Yeah, definitely that. Remember what else?”
“I… I told you that my mother cheated on my dad.”
“Yeah.”
“I hadn’t ever told anybody about that before you.”
“I didn’t know that. Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For telling me now. And for trusting me enough to tell me back then.”
We exchanged a sad smile, and then I looked out into the distance. “I went and talked to my mom before we came to Athens. About… that.”
“Yeah? How did it go?”
“Surprisingly well. I think… I think I finally forgave her.”
“Really.”
“Yeah.”
“Sounds like you did some therapy of your own.”
“I did,” I said, realizing he was right. “Not only that, but…”
I stopped talking when I realized what effect my words might have on him.
“What?” he prodded.
“What I was going to say isn’t exactly…”
“Is it something about me?”
“Kind of.”
“And you’re worried I won’t like it.”
“…yeah.”
“Tell me anyway.”
I hesitated.
“I can take it,” he insisted.
