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8
Of all thethings I’d learned, the restrictions placed on the Grays bothered me the most. According to the learning device, because Grays lived in tight accommodations with strict rules, their food contained a drug to suppress feelings.
Emotion. Joy. Sadness. Arousal.
Grays were allowed none of it. Although, oddly, I’d begun having some of those feelings even before my diet stopped containing the drug.
With my body having flushed out the suppressant over the last few days, I experienced longings I’d never had before. My new knowledge explained some of the oddities, like the ache between my legs. The flutters in my tummy. Both signs of desire.
The commander’s face showed no expression as he said, “The drugging is for the Grays’ own good.”
“How can you call that good? It’s why I felt nothing most of the time.” Why I’d often gone through my days with indifference.
“It was discovered early on that certain emotions caused trouble with those designated to work in the Caves.”
“I can see why you’d want to suppress anger, but you took away the human affinity for touch and love.”
“Because love leads to jealousy, which leads to anger. Angry Grays were rebellious ones.”
I thought of Silas. “You’re allowed to feel,” I pointed out.
“Ye, because I don’t let emotions get in the way of what has to be done.”
“You let your mood stop you from breeding with me.” I didn’t know why I said it. Maybe because I’d finally learned what sex involved. In theory, it looked and sounded disgusting. Tell that to the pleasurable thrill that coursed through me when the commander was near.
At my accusation, he recoiled. “I have my reasons.”
“Name them.”
“We don’t know each other.”
“Sex doesn’t require familiarity.”
“It shouldn’t happen because I demand it of you. A woman has the right to say no.”
“Not one marked for breeding.” Apparently, those in the white were considered too valuable to waste.
According to history, the viability of the reproductive systems of humans had been stagnating. With fewer and fewer fertile people able to reproduce, a new practice had been enacted where Grays with the right genetics were marked and brought from the Caves to serve as breeders.
The more I learned, the more I could see why Silas wanted to fight. It seemed vastly unfair that while some got to live in splendor, others, like the Grays, lived a life of never-ending toil with no breaks, no pleasures, not even normal human interaction.
“Are you complaining that I’m treating you with kindness? Would you have preferred to go with someone who wouldn’t have cared about your feelings? That wouldn’t have given you a choice?”
“My studies say if you fail to breed with me, I might be given to another.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you.” Vehemence marked his words.
“Why?”
“Because.”
A non-answer. I cocked my head. “Why did you acquire me if not to place a child within my womb?”
“I don’t know.”
But I had to wonder. For a man who claimed he could control his emotions, his actions in regards to me indicated something different.
He changed the topic. “Would you like to go outside?”
