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Only when we were out of sight did I eye the soldier by my side. With his helmet on, I couldn’t see his expression. He didn’t once speak as he escorted me to the apartment.
He didn’t follow me inside. The moment the door closed, I headed for my room and showered, wanting to scrub myself of the taint that I could feel upon me, not one of filth but guilt.
By not telling the truth when the commander asked me to identify the Grays I’d seen on the transport, had I inadvertently caused what happened today? That also led me to question Silas’s assertion that the box he’d given me was benign. Could I believe a man who thought nothing of hurting innocents?
I dressed and emerged into the living space as the commander returned.
“You’re back already.” Surprising, because I’d expected him to be part of the team hunting for the bomber.
“I’ve got a mission early tomorrow, so I thought it best I rest for it.”
“Where are you going?”
“Nowhere.”
The lack of answer said it all. “You’re going to the Caves.”
He tensed before shrugging. “Yes, but not the habited ones. Recent intel places the rebel group somewhere in the unstable mines of the northern quadrant. I’ll be going with two teams to see if we can flush them out.”
“It will be dangerous.”
“Yes.”
I got close enough to him that I had to tilt my head to meet his eyes. “Be careful.” The well-being of this man mattered to me more than I would have thought.
“I’ll be gone a few days.” He turned from me as he said it.
“I’ll stay inside.”
“You don’t have to.” He whirled. “You’re not a prisoner, J891.” He grimaced. “Dammit. You need a name. Have you chosen one yet?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
I cocked my head. “How does one decide?”
“What do you like?”
I liked many things, like all the foods I’d tried, the warmth of his apartment, the comfort of his bed, but somehow, I doubted being called Pillowtop was appropriate. I did recall a name though from the history texts. “Jasinda.” She’d been a woman who’d commanded one of the sailing arks that had saved not only people, but as many animals, books and seeds as she could gather.
“Jasinda.” He repeated it, stretching the vowels. Nodded. “I like it.”
“Me too.” A smile stretched my lips, the feeling more familiar now.
I had more than just a new identity. I was beginning to understand happiness and affection.
Desire…
Standing on tiptoe, I showed how I felt with the press of my lips to his.
He tensed.
My mouth mashed to his, I whispered, “Shouldn’t you kiss me back?”
“Are you sure?”
The fact he asked me cemented it. I put my arms around his neck as I’d seen done in the videos from the learning system and kept my mouth on him, unsure of what to do, but noticing that it caused the nicest of sensations.
