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Chapter 29
WHEN MY PARENTS RETURN HOME FROM WORKthat night, I give them both long, big hugs. Mom and Dad look surprised, but they hold on tight to me anyway. I have no idea if they’ll let me hug them like this ever again, so I take in the warmth and comfort as much as I can.
Then, I step back, take a deep breath, and say, “Umma, Appa, I have something I need to tell you.”
Their eyes go wide in concern.
“Hana, are you okay?” Mom says. “Whatever it is, you can tell your appa and me. No secrets between us, right?”
Dad looks equally worried, but he just nods along.
“You two better take a seat,” I say.
We walk over to the living room, and I wait for my parents to get situated on the couch.
When I don’t say anything for a long time, Dad blurts out, “Are you pregnant?”
I go crimson. “Appa! No!”
My parents both let out huge sighs of relief.
I decide to just get it over with. My heart pounding in my ears, I say, “But I am bi.” I rack my brain for the Korean word for it, something I googled while getting ready for this talk. “Yang-sung aeja. I like both guys and girls.”
My parents grow completely still. The entire room is so quiet that I can hear the water dripping from our kitchen faucet.Drip. Drip. Drip.
They stare at me, and I brace myself for my parents’ reactions.
But then, Mom bursts out laughing.
“Hana,” she says. “We already know. Well, for the longest time your appa and I thought you might be lesbian before you started talking about some of the boys at school. But your strongest crushes were always on your female classmates, so we figured you were more into girls. The way you’d talk about your friend Minjee... you were obsessed!”
Dad nods again.
“Wait, you guysknew?” I say, filled with a mix of shock and relief. “EvenIdidn’t know I liked Minjee in that way back then. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Mom shrugs. “We didn’t want to assume too much, just in case. And more importantly, we wanted you to tell us only when you were ready.”
“Okay,” I say, letting out a quick breath. My heart’s stillbeating super fast, but it doesn’t feel like it’s about to explode anymore. “Well, Minjee is my girlfriend now, officially. And I have a lot more things to catch you guys up on.”
My parents’ facial expressions range from surprise to anger to horror as I tell them everything that’s been going on for the past few weeks.
Mom gasps when I tell her about the show’s possible cancellation. “Can they do that?”
I shrug. “Part of me hopes Mr. Kim’s just bluffing, but he also said he’d be willing to pay for all the repercussions of canceling the show, because to him, that’s better than having us finish it. He’s really homophobic.”
Dad nods. “I’m not surprised. A lot of my friends are. One of them has a gay son and repeatedly says that he hopes the military will ‘turn him straight.’”
Knowing how close-minded some people are, what Dad said isn’t surprising, but it still makes me feel sick.
“Wait,” I say. “If a lot of your friends are homophobic, then why aren’t you?”
I have no idea if this is even an appropriate question to ask, but I can’t help but be curious.
Dad hesitates and looks at Mom, who nods at him. He then slowly says, “I wouldn’t consider myself to be totally accepting. To be honest, your umma and I... we are still cut from the same cloth as Mr. Kim and that older, less-accepting generation. It’s very difficult for me to understand. But even thoughwe can’t exactly understand it, we will always care more about you and your happiness.”
This is the most I’ve heard Dad say in a while. I’m still processing everything he’s said when Mom adds, “We love you, Hana. No matter what.”
Dad nods. I’m full-on bawling as I launch myself at my parents for another big group hug. Mom laughs again, and the three of us embrace for a long time.
