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HOPE
I’m startled by a knock.
The bedroom is empty. I can feel it in my bones before I’ve even opened my eyes. I feel that crushing emptiness in my heart every time Zach isn’t around.
“Mrs. Teager.” William’s voice filters through the door.
He isn’t alone. When it’s just us two, he always calls me by my first name. I get up from the bed and look at the digital clock on my nightstand.
It’s three in the morning.
My heartbeat starts to race as worry about Zach sneaks up my mind. Where is he? Is he alright?
I quickly grab the robe from the couch and put it on before opening the door.
My heart leaps in my mouth when I find Keith and Will holding Zach. “What happened to him?”
“Don’t worry. He’s just wasted.” Keith’s lips purse as I give way to the two men hauling my unconscious husband. “I found him in a bar close to Cherrywood.”
William removes Zach’s jacket and places him on the bed. I rush to remove his shoes before covering him with the blanket. My throat tightens in fear and anxiety at the sight of him lying motionless.
My head jerks to Keith as he ambles toward the door, and I call him. He looks over his shoulder, halting in his steps.
I give a glance at William who’s plugging Zach’s cell phone in the charger by his nightstand before turning to Keith. “When you found Zach, was he…alone?”
So much insecurity in our marriage, so much distrust. I love Zach but every passing moment when he’s not with me, I fear he’s with someone else.
Keith’s brows rise and he carefully replies, “He was alone.”
The twisted muscles of my stomach relax hearing his words. “Thanks for bringing him home.”
I havea hard time closing my eyes. Sitting next to Zach, I stare at his beautiful face and my chest constricts. I’m so in love with this man. As a child, I used to dream of having the kind of love my parents had, where it’s almost impossible to breathe without your lover. I never thought I could ever experience such feeling.
But then Zach stormed into my life like a tornado and gave me not only such a love but all the happiness that exists in this world. He doesn’t know how much he has given me in this marriage, including the safety and assurance for Ray, which I thought I would never have.
My mom often says that the feeling of loving someone is much more beautiful and magical than being loved. I never understood her words until today. And for the first time in my life, I feel her pain. I feel why she didn’t want to live without Dad.
Zach sleeps peacefully throughout the night and morning. His measured breathing remains even when Ray kisses him goodbye before leaving for school.
I let the bakery know that I won’t be coming in today. This is the first day since I joined Cakes for All, that there won’t be any superhero cupcakes. My heart shrinks as I imagine the disappointed faces of our little customers. I ask Holly to make sure that every customer gets a discount coupon for their next trip to the bakery.
I lookout of the balcony and wonder what will happen now.
Last night, I confessed my love to Zach knowing he doesn’t feel the same.
When did I become this needy and insecure?
What the hell was I thinking? He has already made it very clear, on numerous occasions, that this was not something we would bring into our marriage. But I never realized when the lines blurred so much.
I’m lost in thought when William interrupts me. “Hope, you left your phone inside. Someone was calling you.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” The ringing stops the moment he places my cell phone in my hand. I look down to see it’s Kristy. William is about to leave when I ask him, “Did Zach…come for breakfast?”
William shakes his head with his lips pinched together. It’s clear he didn’t like what happened last night.
I’m just waiting for Zach to get up and give me his verdict. How he wants to proceed with this insane contract marriage where we ripped the written contract to shreds by crossing each boundary we weren’t supposed to cross.
“You should go to the bakery, Hope. I don’t think Mr. Teager is waking up anytime soon.”
