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“Hope.” Zach runs his fingers through his hair, tousling it which only makes him look hotter.
“I told you this is a real marriage in every sense except one.”
And that one reason being he cannot love me, make love to me. Isn’t it one of the main reasons people get married?
“Okay,” I acquiesce, knowing we can’t keep this secret from Mom for long. “I will get ready.”
I look around my minimal wardrobe. Most of my clothes have already found a home in this closet. I pull out my knee-length, navy-blue circle skirt and a white blouse. This is one of the fanciest sets I own. I bought it two years ago for the marriage of a co-worker at the bakery and never wore it again. But we’ll be meeting Zach’s family tonight.
I look at the garb in my hand and wonder why I’m even trying? They’re not going to like me. A poor, single mom, ruining their perfect family picture.
Nevertheless, I change into the clothes and brush my wild hair. I don’t usually put on makeup but today I apply a coat of mascara on my lashes and a tinge of blush over my cheeks. I finish the look by running a nude pink lipstick over my lips. I’m counting on the makeup to mask my apprehension and shame.
In addition to Zach’s family, I’m also worried about Mom’s reaction to this big news. When she gave Dad’s ring to Zach, she couldn’t have imagined a contract marriage for me. She would have thought I was going to end up like one of those princesses in Ray’s books.
I can’t let her know the truth. Repeating the words in my head, I go out of my room.
“You look…different. I mean, you look nice.” Zach smiles at me when I meet him in the foyer.
The usual shivers resume in my body at his compliment. Without giving them much thought, I ask, “Work?” I notice he was typing rapidly on his cell phone.
“No. No work today. Everybody gets a paid leave of absence on their wedding day in my company. So, I just told my secretary I’m off.” A boyish grin takes over his face.
Jesus! He’s already telling people. His actions sometimes feel like this was the wedding of his dreams.
“What do you really do?” I ask as we step into the elevator. “Until yesterday I thought you were a hotelier.”
“Really? And you still agreed to marry me?”
My face crumbles at his obtuse comment. I know I’m the biggest fool of the century, but does he really have to rub it in my face?
“Hey, Hope. I meant it as a joke.” He lifts my chin up. “I thought you would bite back. But since yesterday, you’ve been more emotional than usual. Why?”
Why? Did he really have to ask?
In less than twenty-four hours I’ve had a gut-wrenching fear of CPS taking my son away from me.
I was proposed to by one of the most handsome men I’ve ever known, but my husband of a few hours told me he likes to sleep withother womenjust a few floors below his bedroom.
His family doesn’t know about our insane marriage, and we are on our way to reveal the big news to my sick mother.
And above everythingthere is this fluttering, tingling sensation running through my body every time he looks at me, touches me.
I have every fucking right to be emotional, super emotional if need be.
“You’re having a heavy conversation in your head.” Zach cocks an eyebrow and places a kiss on my forehead.
My body sags at his gentle touch. I can do this. I can do this. I repeat the words like a mantra and gulp for air as the elevator door opens at the underground parking garage. He leads me to a Mercedes today.
Geez! How many cars does he own?
Next to which sits my forgotten van. Since we moved here, William has been making deliveries to the bakery, and on Zach’s insistence, I’ve been driving his sedan. His reasoning is the lack of parking space at the hospital.
I slide in the passenger seat and remember the night he drove me to the grocery store. So much has changed in my life since I met Zach that night.
“You’re in your head too much, Hope. Are you second-guessing our decision?”
“No, not second-guessing. But so much has happened in one night and so much is going to happen today. I’m nervous about meeting your family and telling Mom.”
