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“I failed horribly, Zach. I don’t even know what I’d have done without you. Before this”—she waves her hand around the room—“I had something to be proud of. Even if I lost myself under the responsibilities, I always had…pride. But now, I have nothing.” She waves her empty hands before me.
Fuck! Is this how she sees our marriage?
“You have me, Hopper.”
Her head jerks up to me. I swallow hard at the sight of a serious expression on her face before she bursts into laughter. She falls on the bed and her fit of laughter continues.
“I am a fucking loser who got hitched to the hottest bachelor in the state, but he wants nothing from me.” Her unusual swearing and the interpretation of our marriage stops me in my tracks.
Believe me, Hopper, you don’t want anything from me.
Before I can tell her it’s not her but me who’s the unworthy one in our relationship, she sits up and grabs the lapels of my jacket.
“I never experienced anything like the other girls my age. I never even had a boyfriend.” Her face turns red, and she peeks at me through her eyelashes. “I have never been kissed,” she continues her admission, oblivious to my distress.
My pulse shoots up, not knowing what to make of her words.
“You’re killing me, Hopper.” My confession slips out of my mouth and her face and neck turn red.
“Kiss me. Please.”
“Hope!” I close my eyes, trying to not cave into her requests. And it’s so fucking hard, dammit. “What has gotten into you today?”
“I don’t know. Maybe there was something in that punch, but I feel good. I should thank Zander and Rose. Give me your phone.” Her attention takes a hundred-and-eighty-degree turn.
“Call them tomorrow.” I worry what she might say to my family.
“No,” Hope says in a petulant voice and puts her hand inside my jacket pocket. But when her fingers brush against my growing erection, her hands halt and her eyes widen.
“Hope. Call tomorrow,” I warn her and something in my pained voice makes her acquiesce. “Go to sleep now.” I help her lie down and pull the blanket over her.
“You won’t leave me.” She grabs my hand and I shake my head.
Tonight, there’s a woman inmybed and I don’t want her to leave.
She follows my movements as I place my jacket on the chair and slip under the covers.
For the first time, we are sharing the bed and somehow it feels right. Hope turns toward me, sleeping on her side, and gingerly I do the same. She pulls her one hand from under her cheek and places it above mine. Our wedding rings click, and we simply stare at each other.
As familiar as I am to the physical company of a woman, I am unfamiliar to this intimacy. It feels as if we are sharing so much in this innocent touch.
A few moments later, her eyes drift closed, and I can’t resist placing a kiss on her soft lips. A smile tugs on her sleepy face and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
I don’t know what happened today. I have half a mind to call Zander and thank him for having that punch at the party. The other half of my mind is mulling over Hope’s revelations. Wondering what to make of her words and where tonight leaves us?
But there’s one thing for certain, I’m not going to leave these questions unanswered for much longer.
