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HOPE
Istand by the glass door and look out at Zach who is sitting on the balcony lounge chair with a coffee mug next to him.
From the side, I can see he isn’t wearing a shirt and his sculpted muscles are on display for my viewing. Of course, I would have gotten a glimpse of them last night, had I not fallen asleep after the first round. I’m sure someone like Zach doesn’t stop at one orgasm.
My heart squeezes watching this perfect man, who has decided to give me so much...except one thing that makes any marriage successful. But when did he make promises of a regular life? I pretended to be indifferent at his remark about still sleeping around, but inside it felt like someone had just slung a hammer over my heart and shattered it into a million pieces.
As if hearing my thoughts, he turns his head and looks right into my eyes. To my hazy mind, it appears as if he’s getting up in slow motion and I can see every dip, every muscle of his body.
Zach prowls toward me, never taking his eyes off me. “Good morning,” he says as he walks inside the room.
I reply with a tremor in my voice. Last night could have just been a dream, but like he said, I can feel where he has been every time I move, reminding me that it wasn’t my imagination.
But in broad daylight, this thing between us seems unreal.
This is Zach, for God’s sake. Handsome. Beautiful. Sexy. While I am…me. None of those things. I’m not thin or toned and there are stretch marks on my stomach. I have no business being here with him.
My brain repeats the question once more,was it as good for him as it was for me?
“Sleep well?” he asks, and I realize his gaze is still focused on my face, as if searching for something.
I nod.
“Good. Kristy called, they’re back from the park. We have to pick up Ray. You get ready and I will take the guest bathroom,” Zach says in an unusual voice. If I didn’t know better, I would say he’s nervous about something.
But before I can ask him, he’s already leaving the room. I give one last look to his retreating frame before walking in the en-suite bathroom. All the while, my mind drifting back to the two most important men in my life. How was last night for them?
It was the first night when Ray slept away from me, and Zach with me.
It’s beena few hours since Zach and I reached the penthouse. As soon as Ray got into the car, he became the center of our universe. Zach and I stole some glances whenever Ray took breaks in between his excited talks.
I don’t even know how he’s feeling.
Finally, Ray tuckered out and I’m putting him to bed.
“Ma, can I go again with Charlie and Alex sometime?” he asks for the millionth time.
“Yes, munchkin, you can. Someday. But not so soon, okay. Ma misses you too, you know.”
He giggles, giving me a toothy grin. “Okay.”
Putting his tiny arms around my waist, he finally falls asleep.
With nervousness crawling inside me, I walk out of Ray’s room, and I don’t have to go far to find Zach.
When I step into the bedroom, his fast steps, pacing back and forth, come to a halt.
“All okay?” I ask, feeling nervous and confused by his hesitant behavior since this morning.
His gaze flashes at me before he swallows. “Yeah.” Jerking his head to the side, he motions for me to take a seat on the couch. “Can we talk?”
I nod before sitting down and he slides next to me. All the while, my heart trembles about what he’s thinking. He’s been off the whole day.
Zach explicitly mentioned that in the apartment nothing will change between us. Then what the hell are we going to talk about?
As usual, Zach Teager catches me off guard. My heart lurches in my throat when he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Don’t you think I should now know about Ray’s father, Hopper?”
