Page 95 of My Professor

Then why do I feel inexplicably sad?

It’s this room, I figure. It’s plush and well-stocked, decadent and luxurious, but it’s also cold and empty. I fill so little of it as I pad over to the bed and draw back the covers.

I have no book or Kindle, nothing to entertain myself with as I lie there and stare up at the dark ceiling. I concentrate on the city noise filtering in from outside, though given our location, it’s surprisingly minimal. Leave it to Professor Barclay to ensure noise and nuisances are kept to a minimum.

Sleep doesn’t come. I toss and turn for so long that I start to grow annoyed by it. I consider sneaking down to the kitchen to get myself a snack or perusing the bookshelves I saw in the living room to try to find a novel that catches my eye, but I feel like both would be wrong. I’m staying in Professor Barclay’s guest room, but I don’t feel like a guest; I feel like an intruder.

I should have just left earlier rather than accept his invitation to stay the night. When he put me in this room, that should have been my cue to leave.

I check the time to find it’s 3:19 AM. Too late for me to go home now.

I settle in for a long night of restlessness and start to wonder if Professor Barclay has made it to bed or if work has kept him up late. I wonder if he’s sleeping soundly, having forgotten I’m even here.

A part of me—a silly child—wanted him to come tell me good night before he went to sleep, toneedto come see me one more time because he couldn’t resist. There was no knock though, no sound on the other side of my door.

I sit up and kick off my covers, angry at the night for dragging this out for so long.Just get on with it. Either raise the sun or let me sleep.

I can’t stay in this room another second.

I go to the door and twist the knob with no clear destination in my mind. I could go down for that snack or hunt for that book, but my feet carry me toward the opposite end of the hall, where Professor Barclay’s bedroom door is cracked.

I take it as an invitation whether it is one or not.

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