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ChapterFifteen
Cindy
Logan feared his bombshell would drive me away, but it bonded us on a level I never expected on a first date. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact I’d only known the wolf for a day. Maybe because I’d been fantasizing about him for so long, it felt like our relationship had deep roots already.
We discovered we rooted for the same football team—the Alaska Bloodhounds—and loved some of the same TV shows. Which meant I’d fall asleep dreaming of snuggling together under a blanket, watching our favorite stuff, in front of the fireplace. Not that I had a fireplace. If I did, one of the twins would probably blow the house up.
But in my dreams, I had one. And for the first time, I was starting to believe that dreams could be real.
Maybe this famous, gorgeous wolf could really be mine.
“I don’t even know where my kids are.” The champagne had gone straight to my head. There had been a steady supply of small plates delivered to the table, but I’d been so wrapped up in Logan—and chatting with Bibi and Marissa—I’d barely touched them. It felt good to be out with new friends who hadn’t known me since I was in diapers. Bibi had been focusing on big making big changes in my life and today made me feel like a new person.
This was a fresh start in every sense of the word.
Was I really considering moving away from Green Mountain, like Bibi suggested? Maybe, until the champagne wore off and reality came rushing back.
The kids could still go to the shifter school, my wolf said. Other packs have been included.They don’t live on Green Mountain...
My wolf insisted I could have it all...even if human me was still working on believing it.
“Wendy’s been sending texts all night. She brought them for pie, attempted to feed them dinner, and now they’re tucked into bed.” Bibi held up her phone and flashed a picture of my three nuggets in their jammies, hamming it up for the camera. “Tomorrow, Marissa will be compiling a list of babysitters that will be perfect for these lively little ones.”
“I’d like to spend more time with them. Then maybe you’ll feel comfortable leaving them with me,” Logan added.
I was about to ask why, because we’d be together, but then I realized Logan expected that I had a life outside of the house.
It had been a while.
You can have it,my she-wolf reminded me. The beast was onto something.
“That’s amazing. Thank you. Both of you.” Emotion stung my eyes, but I wouldn’t cry because people finally recognized what I needed. Lately, I’d been a mom first, Pedro’s partner second, and Cindy somewhere at the bottom of the list. “Today has been totally amazing, but I should probably get back while Wendy’s still speaking to me.”
Logan rose from the table, tall and gorgeous. Everyone on the deck was watching him. Watching us. Because we were a couple now. I wasn’t just the woman on the reality show who’d picked him from a random group of men. We had a connection.
This wolf could really belong to me.
The muscles between my legs pulsed wildly as I stepped toward him. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him to come home with me. But that would be the best way to ruin a really good thing.
Is it, though?My she-wolf could definitely get behind the vision of Logan tangled in my bedsheets. Stop doubting yourself.This wolf wants you.
But why? I hated even thinking about it.
I had to counter her claim with a vision of the boys coming in and finding a strange wolf in my bed...
Logan couldn’t shift...that would be another day’s problem, because no matter if he was more wolf than man, I was craving the kiss that would be the cherry on top of this amazing day.
“When do you think you’ll have that babysitter?” he asked. “Because I can’t wait to take you out again.”
“Soon.” My gaze shifted to a beaming Bibi for a moment, who nodded in confirmation.
“You know what my favorite part of today was?” he asked.
“The massage?” The vision of him laying on that table, with his bare muscles slick from oil, would fuel many a fantasy until I had him in my bed for real.
“That was special too, but I loved watching you adapt to all the changes that got thrown at us today. Your pack tried to cut you down at the knees, and you handled it like they couldn’t touch you. You were absolutely fucking fantastic.”
Another wave of emotion threatened to claim me. All I’d gotten from my pack lately was criticism. They’d made me feel other. Not good enough. For him to recognize that my she-wolf had done the right thing meant so much. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
He took my face in my hands and our gazes locked. Here it was. The kiss that my mouth was watering for. It wasn’t our first kiss, but the anticipation sent electricity pulsing through my veins.
His lips met mine, soft and slow but so sure. I parted my lips and let him inside, just how I’d been imagining this would be. It was even more fun now that I knew how he tasted, how he smelled, and how he took those few moments to make me his. Showed me what it would be like to be claimed by this man.
It wasn’t like my she-wolf to purr, but she could get used to this.
His wolf rumbled inside him. He might have been sidelined, but he certainly hadn’t been silenced.
Leaving him made me feel like I’d left a piece of myself behind. A piece that I’d just discovered and wanted to get much more acquainted with.
“How are you feeling?” Bibi was beside me in the back of the van. All her sparkles reflected in the streetlights as we drove away from the chalet, but that wasn’t why she was glowing. She was genuinely happy for me.
I needed this—people who cheered for Team Cindy with unabashed enthusiasm—maybe even more than I needed a mate.
“I hope I can be the woman he seems to think I am.”
“You already are. It’s time you remember that.” She put her hand over mine and squeezed it. “Does it matter to you that he might not be able to shift?”
“It’s concerning, because I’ve never heard of a wolf who stopped shifting.” Even our pack elders were able to run in the forest. “But it doesn’t change who he is.”
“Who do you think he is?”
Your mate, my she-wolf said.
“Logan is misunderstood.” The words surprised me as they came out of my mouth. “I have a feeling everyone thinks he is the characters that he plays on TV, and he’s so much more than that. That’s the man I want to give a chance.”
“That’s beautiful. Do you think your pack will accept him?”
I scoffed. “They’ll be hardasses because he’s an outsider. But they’ll come around. They always do. Logan has a lot to bring to our pack.”
Bibi raised an eyebrow. “What sort of things?”
“For way too long, we made do with what we had. We had to beg, borrow, and steal to get ahead—and let’s face it, we weren’t that good at it. With all the changes happening in our village, Logan will bring a fresh perspective, and breathe some new life into the pack.”
Bibi didn’t look convinced.
“Do you think differently of him now because he can’t shift?” I asked.
She shook her head. “If I never had to shift again, I’d be happy.”
Whoa. “I’ve never heard a wolf say that before.”
“Being in my wolf form has always meant violence.”
“I hate that you associate your animal with fighting. It can be such a beautiful thing.” And Bibi was always bringing joy to other people’s lives. I hated that she’d had such a dark past.
But it was why she understood me. Why she was so driven to help me fix my situation.
“I found beauty in other ways. I’ve been able to bring more to the world as Bibi le Bonnet, and drag queens don’t like to ruin their outfits with something messy like a shift.” She laughed. “What does your wolf make you think of?”
“Freedom.” But the word felt like a lie as soon as it came out of my mouth. “Okay, that’s the best-case scenario. I used to feel free when I shifted. Now, I don’t get to do it so often. And when I do, it’s usually because something’s totally gone sideways—thanks to Pedro and his wolves. So lately, it’s been frustration. Things haven’t been easy on Green Mountain for a long time. Especially when we have wolves clinging to things that don’t work.”
