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‘Yes.’
‘When will you fly back?’
Her heart twisted painfully. The prospect of leaving—and for good—filled her mouth with acid.
‘Tomorrow.’ She pulled back a little to see how he reacted, but his face was angled away. Was she imagining a stiffening of his frame?
‘And you’ll buy the company?’
‘It’s already in motion,’ she agreed with a nod, wondering why that now left her with an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was as though she was putting down firm roots, but in the wrong place.
‘I’m glad. You deserve that.’
He was wrong. She deserved so much more. She deserved to be loved as she loved. She deserved what she’d been denied for years. She hadn’t always thought so. Before meeting Thirio, she’d believed the answer was to bury herself away from the possibility of love, not to take a gamble lest she got hurt. But Thirio had changed her. She realised now that love was worth fighting for. Even when there was a risk of loss, rejection and pain.
‘Can we go somewhere a little more private?’ she asked, putting a hand to his chest and drawing his attention.
His reluctance was obvious, but so too his yearning. He was afraid of what he felt. He was afraid of what they shared. He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to say ‘no’ to her. ‘Please.’
His eyes closed and he nodded, a muscle jerking in his jaw. ‘Come with me.’ He laced their fingers together and pulled her with him towards the entrance of the ballroom, then through the wide doors, past the candelabras that were weaved with long strands of ivy, then out onto a terrace, this one far enough away from the revellers that they could only hear the strains of the music.
‘Private enough?’ he asked, warily.
‘Yes.’ She had to do this. A thousand nerves fired through her but she didn’t change course. ‘I will leave tomorrow, if that’s really what you want,’ she said. ‘And I will never contact you again. You made a choice six years ago to live your life alone, to pay for what you see as your crime.’ Sadness washed over her. ‘But I would stay if you asked me.’
His eyes flared wide.
‘I would stay, and I would live here with you, a part of you, just like you’re a part of me.’
His lips parted.
‘I love you.’ She said it simply, in the end, because her love for him was simple. Brick by brick, it had been placed inside her heart, and it would always be there.
He groaned, catching her face in his hands, holding her steady. ‘Don’t say that.’
She felt the ping of hurt. She’d expected his rejection, and thought she’d protected herself against it, but she was wrong. It stung. She blinked quickly.
‘I love you, with all my heart,’ she pushed on regardless. ‘You are worthy of that love. You are deserving of it. And more than that, you are deserving of happiness. I want to be with you. I want to love you. I want to be loved by you. All you have to do is open yourself up to that future. Step away from the darkness, Thirio.’
‘It’s not that simple. The darkness is inside me.’ He pressed a palm to his chest. ‘I can’t escape it.’
‘You can choose happiness.’ She lifted up onto the tips of her toes and brushed her lips to his. ‘You can choose me.’
‘No.’
She ignored his rejection. ‘You will always feel that pain. You will always feel grief and guilt and regret. But you can feel other emotions alongside it. Your life can be a tribute to your parents, the sort of life they’d want you to lead.’
‘No,’ he said again, but she understood: he was rejecting her because he was scared. He wanted her to leave, only that wouldn’t solve anything for either of them.
‘Whenever we get close, you push me away,’ she said gently. ‘Does it ever really work?’
He stared at her without speaking.
‘Do you ever actually forget about me?’
His jaw shifted, teeth clenching.
‘I didn’t think so,’ she said softly, reaching for her throat, for the necklace she always wore. Except she’d lost it, weeks ago. Instead, she tapped her finger to her pulse, hoping for calm.
