Page 43 of Illicit


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Silence filled the room, thick and heavy. My pulse sped. I bit at a hangnail on my thumb until it bled.

If Stella was out there, then she’d seen us together. She’d seen us on stage, seen the way he touched me, the way I reacted to his touch.

I knew whatever had been happening between them was now over. He’d told me as much and she’d confirmed it that day in the store.

But… how did she feel about that?

I knew how I’d felt watching him touch her when I wanted his hands on me. And I hadn’t even known him that first night in the Rabbit Hole. I’d been desperate for that touch, those whispered words, and I had known the man for one whole day.

For Stella, that desire, that envy, would be worse. It would be unbearable. She knew what it felt like to be touched by Cabot Reed. Knew how it felt to give him the power.

Knew what he gave in return.

And now she knew what it felt like to lose him.

Just the thought of that tremendous loss made my chest ache with emptiness and my palms sweat. I looked up at him, pressing my hand to my chest to ease the ache. He was right here. He hadn’t gone anywhere.

Stella didn’t have him anymore.

I did.

“You stupid, stupid man.” Mina whispered. “Look at her.”

His head swiveled toward me and his eyes softened around the edges.

Then he hung his head again.

“Your arrogance will cost you everything.”

I looked at Mina. What did she mean by that?

“Stella was instructed to stay away,” he said.

Mina laughed, a bitter sound that caught me off guard. “Has she ever played the obedient pet before, Cabot?” She shook her head. “And were you clear about your demands? Was Stella here, at this location, trying to pick up the pieces at a different club, with a different Dom, somewhere she’d be safe and wouldn’t have to see you with Rylan?”

I sucked in a ragged breath. Had we hurt her? I didn’t like the woman, but I wasn’t about causing someone pain.

“She’ll go to the board,” Mina whispered.

“She wouldn’t do that.” He shook his head.

“It took Lacey months to get over you, Cabot.”

I’m sorry, what now?

“Do you know how hard I had to work with her? Do you know how long it took for me to ease her out of that, to reintroduce this world to her?” Mina looked at me, then shook her head. “She didn’t even know this place before you.”

Was she talking about me… or Lacey?

Or Stella?

I looked up at Reed, trying to understand him.

Mina breathed deeply, then stood and walked around the desk. She began pacing again. “All right. First, we have to get Stella in here. We have to convince her not to go to the board. At least, if we can protect your company–”

“I’m the goddamn CEO,” Reed growled.

My body reacted to the strength of his voice with a rush of goosebumps. There he is.

“There’s nothing she can do to me–”

Mina rounded on him so fast a breeze tickled the baby hairs around my face. “You think a shareholders board the size of yours wants to know that their chief executive officer is a fucking Dominant who fucks his employees!” Mina scoffed. “You’re not this stupid. Tell me you’re not this fucking stupid.”

I opened my mouth to clarify that we hadn’t technically fucked yet–

“Mina,” Reed began. Oh, good, he’s gonna handle the hard stuff.

She raised her hand to stop him. “You have the third-largest children’s imprint in the world, Cabot!”

Reed squared his shoulders. “I also have the most successful romance imprint in the world.” He shot me a glance. “Dominating a nearly two-billion dollar industry.”

Warmth filled my chest at the little nod to our first meeting.

“What… now you’re going to tell me the fans will understand?”

“Yes.” Regaining his confidence, he stood taller, with his feet shoulders’ width apart, and his hands clasped behind his back.

I sat taller too, pulling strength from him. Mina was worried about me, but she didn’t have to be. Everything I’d done with Reed was within the rules laid out for members.

Feeling her gaze on me, I pulled my eyes away from Reed.

“And you think that because you wanted him, because you were attracted to him, that you’ve consented to all of this.”

I bristled at the implication in her words. Like I wasn’t of sound mind when I read countless pages of paperwork. Like I wasn’t old enough or wise enough when I spent hours learning about every aspect of this man’s lifestyle.

Like, somehow, because I wanted him, I was no longer capable of making decisions on my own, or for my own best interest.

Well, Mina might know a lot about this world, but she knew nothing about me.

With a deep breath, I stood, squared my shoulders, and gave a deliberately firm, “Yes.”

Eyebrows lifted, she watched me for a few moments, then said, “And you’re in love with him.”

My gaze flicked to Reed but he still stared at the wall above Mina’s head.

I drew in a shaky breath, swallowed hard, and said, just as firmly as the last time, “Yes.”

I didn’t look at him again, for fear of what I’d see.

Silence, thick with my admission, filled the room.

Seconds turned into minutes, turned into what felt like hours.

Finally, Mina sighed. “You’re one of my oldest friends, Cabot.” She paused, and I wondered if that was the entire statement. “Go. Get her out of here. I’ll handle Stella.”

Without wasting another second, Reed inclined his head, then strode toward me, his dark gaze intense but giving nothing away. He slipped his hand into mine and pulled me out the door and down the hall. I had to hurry on too-high stilettos to keep up with him.

He stopped abruptly, turned around, bent at the waist, and threw me over his shoulder.

I gasped, then bit back a giggle as he stormed through the underground, a man on a mission.

This was not the time for my famous nervous giggles.

He hadn’t said anything when I admitted my feelings for him, and he was a silent wall of pent-up energy as he returned to the room we’d been in earlier, grabbed our things, then left the Rabbit Hole without a word to anyone–and me still plopped over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

If we passed Stella on our way to the parking garage, I had no idea.

Was he pissed at me? Pissed at Mina? Would he stop seeing me now?

My chest swelled with ache at the prospect of losing him.

But he’d been very clear with me about his personal life. He didn’t have girlfriends, didn’t do relationships. Hell, when I’d brought it up early on, he’d actually looked disgusted at the very idea.

And now I’d gone and fallen in love with him when, in his eyes, I was just a plaything at his playground.

I couldn’t blame him if he was freaked out.

Didn’t make it hurt any less, though.

The familiar beep of the Bugatti’s alarm as he unlocked the car echoed in the parking garage, followed by the sound of the door opening. Reed bent and slipped me into the car, tucking my legs in without saying a word.

Then he closed the door and I was alone while he strode to the other side of the car.

I pulled in a shaky breath–

He opened the driver’s side and climbed in.

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