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"I am touching you," he argued, fingers gripping the sides of my underwear and sliding them down my hips. "I wanted to take it slow, to give you everything before I took you. But you just had to test me, hmm?" he asked, and as soon as I was underwear free, I spread my legs shamelessly.
His hands went to his boxers, shucking them down his legs and fumbling his way out of them. My eyes went to him instantly, unable to believe that somehow he looked just as big without the disguise of fog playing tricks on me. He curved up to his belly, hard and purple. Angry and swollen and desperate looking. I swallowed and bit the inside of my cheek, apprehension suddenly flooding me.
Maybe I wasn't—
Maybe I couldn't.
Shaking my head to clear it, I smiled up at Lino to try and reassure him. To try and reassure myself. He slid between my legs again, leaning over me to press a kiss to my lips. The position put him flush against my center, and the contact knocked all the breath from my lungs.
My body tensed. All arousal fled. Visions of Connor looming above me filled my head, such a vicious cycle of images that I couldn't see the end.
I wanted him off of me. I wanted it away from me. The memory of how much it had hurt, the reminder of the searing pain tearing me apart from the inside out, took over and I shoved at Lino's shoulders until he pulled away to his knees between my legs.
"Shh, Little Dove. It's okay," he soothed, but I curled my legs in on myself and hugged them to my chest. "Samara," he said more sternly. "It's me, vita mia. You're okay."
He didn't touch me, but I could almost feel the way his body coiled, ready to attack and wanting to do whatever he could to help, but the enemy wasn't there. There was nothing he could fight for me, no monster to slay to rescue me.
The only trace of his threat lived on in me. I tugged the sheet out from under me, pulling it to my chest to hide my body in shame. How I'd ever thought I could do this, how I'd ever thought I could push through and have something good; I swore I'd never know.
Good wasn't meant for girls like me.
Damaged.
Lino slid his boxer briefs up his thighs, crawling onto the bed and approaching me like I might break if he touched me. "It's okay. He won't ever hurt you again," he promised.
I huffed a humorless laugh at him, swiping tears from my cheeks angrily. "You're too smart to think that's true. He hurts me every single day. Every time he keeps me from being with you, he sinks his claws back in and—" I cut off. I didn't need to say the words for Lino to know that Connor hurt me by keeping me from Lino. His eyes were knowing as he stared at me. "I'm sorry. I thought I could—"
"Hey, don't you dare. You have nothing to be sorry for, Little Dove," he murmured, drawing my face into his chest and pressing lips to my forehead. "Talk to me. Tell me what scared you."
"I don't want to talk about this with you."
"That's a shame, because it's happening. We need to work through it together, so I can know what will trigger something for you. So what happened? You were okay; you seemed like you wanted me."
"Of course, I wanted you," I argued. "I just—" I paused. "It hurt. When he raped me. It wa
s the worst pain I've ever known. I panicked, because the last time a man was inside me was agonizing. I don't want to live through that again, and I think—I think that's what I associate with sex now," I admitted. "Pain and violation. Humiliation."
"I would never hurt you," Lino whispered, dragging my face up to look at me.
"I know. I know that, I do. It's just there."
"Do you trust me?" he asked, taking the sheet in his hands and guiding it away. I nodded, even as my breath came in sharp pants, and I wanted to hide under the sheet again. When he pushed at my shoulders, gently guiding me onto my back again, the whimper that came from me was pathetic. Especially given that I'd admitted to trusting Lino, to knowing he wouldn't hurt me.
His lips hit the center of my cleavage, kissing and making his way down and over my stomach. When he settled between my legs, with his face hovering just above my core, I felt my eyes widen. "You don't have to do that."
"The last time a man touched you here, he took without giving. Took without your permission. He used you and didn't care that it hurt you or you didn't want it. He hurt you. So for now, I want to remind you that sex can feel good. That it can be amazing when it's with the right person. That it can be everything when it's just you and me in this bed, and to do that I'm going to put my mouth on your pretty little pussy and lick you until you scream my name. Until you'll never forget who is on top of you or inside of you. Until there's no one else but me, vita mia." I stared down at him, watching as he held my eyes and spread my legs wider. His eyes went to my center, heating back up to molten pools of lava while he looked at me. Stroking a finger through my slit, he went slow, hesitant, testing to see if I'd protest the touch.
But nothing about the way he touched me was reminiscent of Connor. There was no roughness, no selfishness. Only a teasing exploration as he used his fingers to spread me open and look up into my eyes as he leaned down and ran his tongue through me. His groan vibrated in my clit, making my back arch off the bed. But I forced it flat quickly, wanting to watch him as he ate me, wanting to see that flawless face buried between my thighs.
I didn't want to miss a moment of it, but the way his tongue explored every inch of me, the way he learned which spots made me squirm, it wasn't enough. I needed more, needed something that I didn't want to admit to. Not given my history or the way I wondered if it would push me over the edge of sanity. But my hand reached down of its own accord, burying in his hair and pressing his face more firmly into me.
I just needed more, and I wanted to come. I wanted to remember what real pleasure felt like, and the sight of Lino, the knowledge that a man so powerful worshiped me with his tongue made a dark pleasure spread through me. He chuckled against me, bringing his finger up to me and sliding it inside me briefly before pulling it out and slipping his tongue down to fuck me with it.
"Oh God," I hissed, through my teeth, feeling like my eyes might roll right out of their sockets. He moaned, slipping his tongue back up to my clit and working it over gently as he thrust a finger back inside me.
Then two.
"So fucking tight, vita mia," he groaned, setting a furious rhythm with those fingers as he danced them against that spot inside me that made sparks fly.
