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Thirty-Seven
Samara
Sadie and Duke arrived together, and I couldn't believe I hadn't expected the two of them to be there. I didn't know Duke particularly well, or at least not like I had in school, given that he'd somewhat distanced himself from Ivory during the last months where we'd grown closer, but it quickly became obvious that the love he'd had for Ivory didn't disappear. It just transferred to her daughter, in an entirely non-creepy way.
As soon as Donatello came down the stairs with the little bundle swaddled in purple, Duke had hurried over to claim his time with his "niece." Don came over to me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head in greeting before he made his way down the hall to join the men. Sadie harrumphed, moving over to the tank and grabbing Smaug. She handed me the lizard, and I giggled when he climbed onto my hand like the adventurous little thing he was.
No fear this lizard.
I wished I could be so brave one day, to just let people reach out without flinching away. But when he tilted his little head and looked up at me, my heart melted, and I stroked a finger over his head. He closed his eyes in contentment, turning in a circle on my hand before he settled down and snuggled into my hand so happily that I giggled. "Aren't you just the cutest?" I asked him.
He turned to look at Luna, sticking out his tongue for a moment that felt far too human-like.
"Yeah, he's weird," Ivory nodded. "Creepy little guy to be honest. With everything he seems to understand. But don't let him fool you, he's just as in love with Luna as the rest of us."
"Go wash your hands, and we'll wrestle her from Duke," Sadie grinned, and I jumped up to do it. I wouldn't even pretend I wasn't dying to hold that sweet little face. Somehow, in the two times I’d been in Ivory’s house since Luna was born, I’d never held the baby. Between the wedding and my anxiety after the abduction attempt, I was glad I hadn’t tried and tarnished my first experience with her.
When I came back, Ivory was already taking her from a pouting Duke who leveled me with a glare. "I've never held her!" I protested, holding my hands up. Laughing in response, he seemed to shake off the grumpiness and his smile became much more jovial and open. He came over, helping Ivory position my arms the proper way to hold Luna since I had no effing clue what I was doing. His hands against my bare forearms felt calloused, and I knew that he was a mixed media sculptor. Ivory had told me that the number of times he cut his hands every week was terrifying as his friend, but I hadn't expected that to translate to him having what felt like a mechanic's hands, with paint stains trapped in the cracks of his palm.
When Ivory dropped Luna into my lap, he helped me support her head with my bent arm, and her entire body from head to butt fit in the length of my forearm. Pulling back the swaddle blanket a teeny bit to get a better look at her, I watched her turn those deep baby blue eyes up to me. With the perfect little pout of a mouth, I touched a finger to her chest and wiggled it.
"Hey there, baby girl," I murmured with a smile. "You are just about the prettiest thing I think I ever saw." When I looked up to Ivory, she grinned down at me with the kind of pride that only a mother could manage.
Untucking her arm from the swaddle with a frustrated little stretch, Luna grabbed my finger tightly in her fist, holding with all her might as she just watched me. "Uh oh," Ivory whispered, a smile in her voice even before I looked at her.
But her eyes weren't on me, she watched Lino where he stood at the mouth of the hallway staring at me and Luna with a look that warmed everything inside me.
"Well, you're pregnant," Sadie said oddly.
"No, I'm not," I laughed sardonically. At least I better not have been with what I paid for birth control.
"You're about to be," Ivory roared with laughter, never taking her eyes off of Lino as he stormed toward where I sat with Luna. Duke took the hint, backing away to scoot to the other side of the couch so that Lino could sit next to me. He spread his knees and tucked me into the space between his legs, and I could feel his head on my shoulder as he stared down at the little princess. The moment felt heavy, like something had been decided right then and there without us saying a word. There was nothing I could say or do to make the moment less poignant, so I just settled against him and let it wash over me.
A strange warmth, a feeling of belonging. Nobody dared to take Luna from us until Lino declared we should get home, his voice hoarse with emotion, and I oddly wanted to cry when Ivory reclaimed Luna.
My arms suddenly felt empty. Empty in a way I'd never noticed before, as if something inside me had been woken up by holding her. Lino smiled down at me, seeming like he was somehow all-knowing about
what it meant for me.
For us.
Where I was just clueless.
I didn't want to leave, wanted to stay with Luna forever, but as the others got up to leave too, I realized just how much we would be intruding on Matteo and Ivory's time with their newborn. I wouldn't have shared her at all, I suspected.
I would be selfish with my baby when the time came, and it suddenly hit me with absolute clarity that it would be a when.
No longer an if.
I'd have a baby if I had to beg.
Lino guided me to the car, and we went home together in silence. Lino seemed as wrapped up in his thoughts as I was mine, and I had to hope that it was for reasons close to mine and not the opposite.
???
We walked inside the front door, and Lino didn't waste a moment before he turned and pressed me against the back of it to plunder my mouth with his. I gasped, giving him access to anything he wanted at that moment. My heart, my soul, my body, my very being. Holding the baby, realizing that I wanted one of my own desperately had left me flayed wide open.
"You looked so beautiful with a baby in your arms," he murmured, leaning in to sigh into my neck. "I want a houseful of kids," he declared suddenly, and my heart stuttered in my chest.
