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7
Alina
Istumbled in through the doorway, Aric trailing after me like a persistent shadow. Closing the door with a smug look on his face, he turned to glance at me over his shoulder. When he raised an eyebrow at me, I prepared myself for the inquisition I knew was coming.
“Dearest sister,thatdid not look like Corbin.”
“Don’t start with me,” I groaned, turning on my heel and staring out the window down to the gardens. The memory of my first kiss plagued me, nagging at my senses until I felt compelled to touch my lips.
I could still taste him, that dark flavor that was frightening in the same way it was tempting. I could still feel him, compelling me and throwing wide open any doors I thought had been firmly closed, even as it felt like he was closing me inside his beautiful golden, gilded cage.
I turned from the view of the rose gardens and the dusky moonlight. Would I ever again smell the scent of a rose and not remember what had transpired when the fragrance had surrounded us? Would I ever turn my face to the moonlight and not see the dark blue intensity of those eyes glittering down at me?
Aric's eyes had a teasing glint in them as I turned to face him, a small smile on his face. I could see hope in it, barely there, but there nonetheless. I ignored it, knowing full well that whatever words the King of Oshal might have spoken, my mother had plans for me. If her situation in life was any sign, she would do whatever it took to see those plans to fruition. I walked over to my room, the smallest in the suite that we occupied and my brother followed, comfortable in my space.
He walked over and took my hand in his before giving my temple a soft kiss. "Don't get mad. I think it's great that you weren't stuck with Corbin the entire night. Lord knows he'd have fucking bored you to death."
"Yes, I'm sure he would have." I sighed and muttered, "That and I would have hated to just speak of him. Him, him, him. He never asked a bloody thing about me."
"And did Reece?" Aric asked and a look at him showed me that he was barely holding in a laugh. I narrowed my eyes at him, giving him a small tap on the arm.
"Stop eavesdropping!" I pouted and proceeded to pull at my hair. It was already on the brink of a collapse, anyway, given how King Reece had treated it in the gardens. Facing the mirror my mouth widened when I saw the smudge of lipstick at the corner of my mouth.
I had accepted that it would be smudged off, not actually smeared over my face.
Shaking my head, I wiped at it quickly with a cotton pad, flushing at the thought that I'd been walking around, talking to people and dancing with that on my face. If anyone had wondered where I’d gone when I'd disappeared for a half hour with our enigmatic host, all questions would be answered by the evidence on my face.
"It's not eavesdropping when you're not really in a bloody conversation with anyone, is it?" Aric asked cheerfully, pointedly watching me throw the lipstick-stained cotton round into the trash.
"It is. Go away, Aric. Your shirt is half open. I'm not standing here asking you about the pretty redhead you were arguing with earlier. So I don't see how you can just interrogate me about what I did on my own time in a ball where we're meant to meet and interact with people." I pointed at the door dramatically, heaving a sigh of relief when he rolled his eyes at me and walked out.
He didn't close the door, and I couldn't be bothered to stand and close it myself as I was too busy getting the rest of my makeup off before I took a shower. A part of me didn't want to wash away the scent of Reece that clung to my clothing. But another part knew it wouldn't truly matter—the smell of him would always linger in my memories and my soul.
I laid a hand on the bodice of my gown as heat crept up my skin with thoughts of him. I pulled at the fabric, desperate to get out of it, suddenly stifled. From the moment my mother had wrapped it around me to the moment I'd been presented to the entire party of royals and nobles in that beautiful ballroom, I'd been in prison.
Why was it that the only moment that felt close to freedom had come in a rose garden drenched in dewy, glowing moonlight? I shook my head. "Get yourself together, Alina. You're beginning to sound like a romance novel."
Gathering myself, I kicked my heels off my feet and stood to shut the door so I could finally strip the gown off my body and find that Alina I knew best when I was basking in my own loneliness. It was the safest place I knew. I pushed the door closed but before I could lock it, the doorknob turned and my mother burst into the room.
"Alina!" she shrieked in my ear. I winced as I swiveled around to move back farther into the room. There was no use closing the door to get her out of it. She would always command every movement I made. Control every decision I should have had the right to choose. Allowing me the right to undress in peace was too much to ask of her demanding nature.
"Yes, Mother?" I sighed as I sat back down in front of the dresser. I picked up the heavy, soft-bristled brush to comb the product from my hair before I would need to wash it.
My mother walked up to me, snatching the hairbrush and taking over the brushing. Harsh, mechanical movements that had nothing to do with the way a mother was supposed to nourish her child. But as with everything my mother did, a step towards the final accomplishment of her plan and agenda. "I'm disappointed in you, Alina." The words were each punctuated with a particularly hard pull of the brush.
I winced as she pulled again, not even trying to be gentle. "Yes, Mother?"
"I send you out and you cause a scene just as I expect you would, the princess who was hidden away. Your face was flawless, and everything was in place for you to charm Corbin. But what do I hear you do? Tell me, hmm?" She met my eyes in the mirror, and I lowered my own, my gaze tracking to the trash bin where I'd thrown a cotton round. It could attest perfectly to the reason my mother would be disappointed in me.
"I'm sorry, Mother," I said softly. Trying to explain or make excuses would not get me anywhere. Besides, there was nothing to explain. Even I still had trouble grasping the events of that evening.
"You should be sorry, you stupid girl. After all our work to secure this alliance for the good of Lantis, what do you do?!” She raised her voice, the shrill shout startling me in my seat. “You allow that sadistic King to capture your time and attention. He'll destroy you, taint that reputation, and everything I've worked so hard for would be for nothing. And for what? Because he has a beautiful face and a man's body? What is the beauty of the physical when it could destroy you? You'll be useless to Lantis once he’s ruined your reputation. It will be all I can do to find some pathetic prince to take you off our hands."
For a sadist, Reece had never harmed me. He’d been possessive and pushed me to the frayed edges of my limits, but somehow I knew no harm would come to me while he was there.
For the first time, I said nothing, not even under my breath, to explain. It felt wrong to defend Reece to my mother and not because I thought she was right. But because I wanted to keep every moment I'd had with Reece to myself, to tide me over my entire life when I did eventually end up with Corbin.
"I am disgusted by your behavior. You let him reduce you to no better than a whore." Her hand fisted in my hair, pulling as she bent down to whisper in my ear, a venomous hiss, "Did you let him touch you? Take what should belong only to your husband?”
