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I’ve been alone most of my life in one way or another, but I’ve never felt this lonely before.
It’s my own fault. I allowed myself to need people in Rosewood, and now I crave that connection, that friendship I managed without for all those years.
I think of Emmie, of Calli. Hell, even Theo pops into my head as I refuse to allow a certain dark-haired boy with wicked intent in his eyes to slide back into my thoughts. Could any of them turn out to be what I need?
Pulling my sheets over me, I lie there with thoughts running at a million miles an hour around my head.
I’m exhausted, but sleep seems to elude me, my body happy to allow my brain to continue taunting me long into the night.
I have no idea what time it is when a soft knock sounds out on my door, but I don’t react. I’m not in the right place to have another conversation with my dad when I know all he’s going to do is lie to my face.
After a few seconds, he invites himself inside. The light from the hallway fills my room, but I still don’t move. I keep my back to him and focus on keeping my breathing steady.
“I wish I could tell you everything, baby,” he whispers, making my traitorous body jolt at the emotion in his voice. “But I’m terrified of what you’ll think when you discover the truth.”
I lie there, my head warring with itself. Part of me wants to flip over and demand more, but the other part hears the pain, the fear in his voice, and that finally wins out.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
It’s not until he’s left and my door has clicked closed again that I release the breath I didn’t know I was holding and the tears I was fighting finally come.
And when I do finally pass out, it’s because I’ve cried myself to sleep.
