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Whatever Irene said in response was muffled by Hugh's jacket. As Wesley strode away down the hall, Hugh turned his wife and picked her up in his arms. The heavy shaking sobs had finally ceased but he could tell that she was still crying, her little panting breaths making the inside of his chest tight. His immediate response was to slay whatever dragons were plaguing her, but he hadn't the slightest idea what they might be.
Carrying her into his study, he kicked the door shut behind them and settled them down onto a rather large and comfortable chair. Stroking her hair he cradled her in his arms and murmured to her that everything would be alright, that he would take care of her, and all other sorts of soothing comforts until her body finally relaxed against him.
"I'm so, so sorry," she said again finally, her voice small and almost broken.
Hugh kissed the top of her head where her coppery hair met the pale slope of her forehead, shifting her in his lap so that he could wrap his arms more firmly around her body. He had to admit that while he d
idn't enjoy listening to her cry the way she had, he had certainly enjoyed knowing that she trusted him enough to turn to him, wanted him enough to nestle against him.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" he asked gently, feathering light kisses over her forehead and hair.
She didn't know if it was because she'd kept everything bottled up for so long or perhaps because she just no longer had the fortitude to keep it all to herself, but everything came spilling out at once. The feelings that she'd had for Alex since childhood, the beating that she'd witnessed their butler giving a maid, the devastation she'd felt when Alex had married someone else, her mother's description of ton marriages, the guilt she'd felt over marrying Hugh when she had feelings for another, the confusion she'd felt on their honeymoon when her feelings towards him began to change and she started to wonder if it was possible to be in love with two men, her horror and fury at the spanking, her further confusion when she'd realized it hadn't been as bad as she'd thought...
All the way up to the events of the night before when she'd wanted to confirm her feelings for Alex and had only ended up more frustrated and confused than ever when the tingling and excitement that occurred whenever she was with Hugh didn't happen with Alex. The shock she'd felt at the loss of her hero, the realization that perhaps spanking her didn't make Hugh a monster...
Every thought, every emotion, it all came pouring out until her throat was sore and dry from talking. Several times during her long monologue Hugh's arms had tightened around her or he'd stiffened beneath her, once or twice he'd shifted and she'd thought that he would interrupt her but he didn't.
When she came to the end of it all she was left panting a little, still curled up against him, too afraid to look up at see his face. Worried that she had hurt him. She couldn't find any energy to worry about herself; the lengthy confession had left her too wrung out, as if all the tension of her entire had drained out and left her limp as a rag doll. Even if he caned her now, she wasn't sure she'd be able to react to it.
For long moments they sat there in silence, Irene waiting, Hugh contemplating as his fingers absently stroked against her. She drank in the feel of his gentle touch.
"How do you feel about me now?" he finally asked.
It was the question that Irene had wanted space from him so that she could think about the answer, but it turned out she hadn't needed space from him to figure it out. All she'd needed to do was talk through everything and now she knew.
"I think I'm in love with you," she admitted quietly, watching her finger as it traced over the trim of his jacket lapel. "I thought I loved Alex... but it was the love of childhood. Of a young girl who needed a champion and romanced it, nourished it with fantasies after he'd left. It never occurred to me that he might not be what I'd built him up to be in my head or that his motivations might be something other than that of love. Although, of course I do think he loves me and I him, but it's different. I just didn't know that there were different kinds of love between men and women who are not family. I love him, care for him and want him to be happy... but he's not the man I fell in love with. That man was nothing but a dream. You're real. I feel as safe with you as I did with him but I also feel excited... passionate... stronger." She hesitated. "But I understand if you do not believe me and I do not expect you to reciprocate of course, I know our marriage was arranged and that was not part of the bargain... but if you think that you could perhaps... in time..."
"Oh you silly little thing," Hugh said, tipping her back so that he could look into her eyes. They were veined with red, the lids pink and swollen like her lips from crying, her skin was blotchy red, pink and white and all of it clashed horribly with her hair. Yet he thought that she was incredibly beautiful. "I wouldn't have married you if I didn't care for you, no matter what land was included in your dowry. I thought you would be the perfect submissive, docile wife. The more I saw of you on our honeymoon, the more I came to care for you."
He kissed her eyelids, her lashes fluttering against him as she made a low sound in her throat.
"I love the woman who raced me across the fields, who teased me in the creek, who didn't care if I came to dinner smelling of horse and dogs."
He kissed her nose.
Irene looked up at him with solemn green eyes, almost disbelieving.
"I loved that you attempted to approach Rex even though I was furious that you didn't back away once he snapped at you."
Now she really looked disbelieving and Hugh laughed. "But I wasn't docile or submissive."
"Compared to my sister you are," Hugh said with a chuckle as he leaned forward and brushed his lips across hers. "That's what I wanted. But I don't think it would matter even if you weren't... I was enamored of you almost from the start and it didn't take me long to fall in love with you."
"But you spanked me!" It was a concept that she was still struggling with.
"In order to keep you safe." Something dark flashed in his eyes and he gripped her a little tighter. "If you insist on putting yourself in danger or testing out your emotions on other men again then you can damn well be sure that I'll do it again."
"No other men," Irene said earnestly, putting her hand on his jaw and feeling the tension slowly lesson. "Not because I do not like being spanked - although I certainly do not - but because I do not need or want any other man but you. I was foolish and naive over my feelings for Alex, but at least it taught me that what I feel for you is different and special."
"Good," he said possessively. This time his kiss was anything but light or gentle and Irene let herself sink into it, her lips clinging to his. "Although I'm not entirely sure I believe that you do not like being spanked. Last night you seemed to -"
He was interrupted by a sharp poke in the chest and the narrowing of his wife's eyes. "Enjoying what we do after does not make it hurt any less during, you brute."
Rubbing the sore spot that she'd just jabbed her finger into, Hugh grinned down at her. "I suppose brute is better than monster."
Irene laughed and he chuckled. Strange to say that for both of them the past twenty-four hours had been extremely trying, and yet now they were glad of it, for without those trials they would not have made their confessions to each other. For the first time Irene looked up into Hugh's eyes and realized that the warmth she saw in them was love for her... and that the emotions welling in her belly and chest was her love for him.
They spent the rest of the afternoon until supper like that, curled together. She told him, in much more detail, about what her childhood had been like and her mother's edicts, some of which made him snort with laughter. He reassured her that she absolutely did not have to follow the majority of them, just the ones that would keep her safe. The ones meant to keep her from causing a scandal she could break, but only with him. In fact, he got a few ideas from the list, specifically about dragging her off to a darkened corner they next ball they attended.
