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“I’m not invincible,” he said quietly. The scar running down his side was testament to that. “What if I didn’t get to you in time?”
“I would have held them off until you got there.”
Okay, now she was overestimating her abilities. He knew it was the adrenaline rushing through her veins. She had taken a risk and narrowly escaped. She felt powerful and violently alive.
“I want you to quit,” he said. He felt her flinch and gently stroked her hair. “I’m leaving this weekend.”
“I know.” He felt her exhale before she moved away. “We don’t need to talk about it now.”
He wanted to keep holding her but he let his hands fall to his sides. “I won’t be able to help when you try to pull another stunt like this.”
She looked down at the floor. “Eric, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Obviously, I do.”
“I know that I’m no expert,” she said and wrapped her arms around her waist. “I need a lot more training, and years of apprenticing before I strike out on my own.”
He was glad she was aware of her limitations, but she didn’t say she would back down. “So, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I won’t pursue this once you’re gone.” It was a reluctant but earnest promise. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.” Her safety would always be his top concern.
“But I want to thank you.” She cupped her hands against his jaw. “For believing in me. For being at my side. It meant a lot to me.”
“You’re welcome,” he said gruffly. He didn’t like the finality of her tone. As if this was already goodbye. He hadn’t left for D.C. yet.
Julie brushed her lips against his mouth. He felt a wave of emotion behind the seemingly light touch.
“I love you, Eric.”
He flinched. No, that couldn’t be true. Julie was warm and affectionate, but she couldn’t love him. He’d had relationships in the past, but they never lasted for long. Eric never wanted anyone to get too close and see why his parents couldn’t love him. But Julie thought she was in love with him. What did she see that no one else could?
Eric held her by the shoulders and made her take a step back. “Julie, that’s the adrenaline talking.”
She frowned. “No, it’s not.”
“It’s okay.” He held up his hands. “The rush makes you do crazy things. Say things that feel true at that moment. Don’t worry, I’m not going to hold you to it.”
But he wanted to. He wanted to believe it was real and lasting. He knew that once Julie gave her heart, it would be forever.
“I think I know how I feel.” There was a hint of annoyance in her voice. “Stop making excuses for me.”
“You sound very sure of yourself. But believe me, it’s only temporary. This feeling will pass.”
“Is that what you want?” Her voice cracked. “Do you want my feelings to just disappear?”
Eric looked away and slowly shook his head. He knew she would regret her declaration. One day she would discover that he wasn’t the man, the hero, she needed. He didn’t want to disappoint her but it was inevitable.
She placed her fingers against his mouth as he began to speak. “Eric, you don’t have to love me back.”
“But I…” He wanted Julie and he wanted to be with her, but his ugliness would bleed into her safe little world.
“I’m not expecting anything in return,” she said, dropping her hand from his mouth. “I just wanted you to know. That’s all.”
That’s all. Maybe Julie was used to being surrounded by friends and loved ones. She didn’t realize that her words changed everything. It was a gift he didn’t deserve, but he would strive to earn it.
He held her face in between his hands and kissed her. Dark, fierce emotions whipped against him. He couldn’t return those words. Doing so would keep Julie at his side and she deserved better. She had a brighter future, a better life, without him.
Eric couldn’t tell Julie that he loved her, but he would give her anything else.
He held her against him. His blood thickened as she yielded to him, her lips clinging to his.
“Tell me what you want,” Eric said huskily. “Tell me anything and I’ll give it to you.”
“I want you.”
Her simple words made his gut clench. “You already have me.” He was hers and he always would be. “I want to give you your deepest, darkest fantasy.” He could be her fantasy, her perfect man, for one night.
