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Chapter Thirteen
Ransom
“I’m going out.” Bear grabbed his sweatshirt he had hanging by the front door. “You need anything?” he asked.
Luna looked up from the TV. “Nothing I need.”
“All good with me,” I replied. We had just finished dinner, and Luna had camped out in front of the TV while I was at the kitchen table going over some things I had brought home from the station.
“Don’t wait up for me.” Bear closed the door behind him with a wave over his shoulder.
I hadn’t really talked much when I had gotten home. Luna had dinner ready, and Bear had already eaten. Now, it was just me and Luna. I wanted to talk to her, but I could tell she didn’t want to. She had been cordial to me, but the usual feistiness was gone.
“What are you doing?”
I looked up from my papers, surprised to see Luna standing on the other side of the table. “Uh, just doing some paperwork.”
“Do you normally bring work home with you?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Not usually.” I hated doing paperwork, but I was pretty good at getting it done right away so it wasn’t hanging over my head.
“So why did you bring it home tonight?” Luna moved to the freezer and pulled out a gallon of ice cream.
Because I spent three hours of my day looking for Luna and Greta. “Day just got away from me.”
Luna hummed and grabbed two spoons from the drawer. She moved to the table and pulled out the chair next to me. “Ice cream?”
I nodded. “I could always go for dessert.”
She sat down and offered me a spoon.
“How is the arm treating you today?” I asked.
She pried the lid off the ice cream and drug her spoon through it. “Pain is much better. It aches every now and then, but it’s getting better.” She licked the ice cream off the spoon and sat back in the chair with her leg tucked under.
“How about the head? No headaches?” I had a few concussions in my time and knew that lingering headaches were pretty common.
Luna shook her head. “So far, so good.”
I dug out a spoonful of ice cream. I didn’t know what Luna was up to. It was almost seven o’clock, and I didn’t think she was trying to drug me so she could go out with Greta. But I wouldn’t put anything past her after this morning.
“I’m sorry about today,” she said softly.
I took a bite of ice cream and nodded.
“Greta and I shouldn’t have taken off like we did.”
I nodded again.
Luna stared at me for a beat. “I won’t do anything like that again.” She cleared her throat. “Unless it is absolutely necessary.”
There was the Luna I knew. It was nice that she was apologizing for this morning, but it was something I wasn’t used to coming out of her mouth. “Thank you.”
She tipped her head to the side. “Thank you?” she laughed.
“I am in shock that the words ‘I’m sorry’ came out of your mouth. You’ll have to give me a second to let them sink in.”
Luna reared back.
A smiled spread across my lips and a chuckle rumbled from my chest.
“Oh, God,” Luna laughed. “I thought you were being serious.”
I took another spoonful of ice cream. “Thank you for apologizing, and you don’t have to promise not to do it again.”
“I know, but I won’t do it again. After doing it, I’m not really sure it was even worth it in the end. I got a few creepy guys from the girls, but they didn’t know names or anything.” She sighed and slumped in her chair. “It was nice to have lunch with Birdie, but the lengths I went to do it were a bit…over the top?”
“I do hope Birdie is feeling better after her insensibility today.”
Luna buried her face on her hand. “My God, that was painful to watch. Greta spewed the idea at her when we saw you pull into the parking lot. Greta was convinced if we distracted you with Birdie fainting, it would take your rage away from me.”
“That might have worked if Birdie was a better actress.”
She nodded. “Uh, yeah. Greta should have been the one to do it, but we thought you might not believe it if she did it because you knew she was crazy.”
I tapped my nose. “You hit the nail on the head with that. I probably would have stepped over her and went home.”
Luna laughed. “I probably would have hitched a ride with you.” She sighed and dropped her spoon in the ice cream. “Bear told me this isn’t a prison.”
“I don’t know who told you it was.”
She looked to the living room. “No one. I guess…”
“You guess what, Luna?” I asked softly.
“I guess for years, it felt like I was in a prison. Not in the physical sense, but more in the sense that I was free to do what I want, but at any turn, I would be told no or that I couldn’t do something because it would hurt me, or I was a girl.” She turned back to me. “It feels like a prison to me and I refuse to be trapped in it anymore.”
This was the conversation I had been wanting to have with Luna, but now that it was here, I needed to tread carefully. I fully understood what she was saying and feeling, but there were some things I didn’t think she had just right.
“I told you no because I have a job to do, Luna.”
“Your job that has to deal with me and people I love.”
I shrugged. “Not wrong, but that doesn’t give you the open right to tag along with me and know everything I do. I’m trained to interrogate, investigate, and uphold the law.”
She tapped her fingers on the table. “I hear what you are saying, and I get what you are saying, but it really pisses me off.” She leaned forward. “A lot.”
I chuckled and shrugged. “And I understand that, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you come to work with me, Luna.”
“I know,” she mumbled.
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t help me when I need it and be involved in some parts of my job,” I offered. At least, when it came to the case that involved her.
She tipped her head to the side. “I feel like you’re going to give me a little bit of hope and you better be.”
“I’m going to the storage unit Tanya’s family has where they put all of her belongings after she died. I know I had said Pie was going to come over tomorrow, but I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”
“Come with you?” she asked slowly. “As in go to the storage unit?”
“I figure three sets of eyes are better than two. We looked at her apartment yesterday, but it was all cleaned with none of her belongings there anymore. I got permission from her family before I clocked out today.”
Luna’s eyes dropped to the table. “Uh, well, I mean, sure?”
I chuckled and grabbed the lid to the ice cream. “I thought you’d be more excited than you are.”
She shrugged and grabbed the ice cream. “You’ve shocked me.” She put the ice cream back in the freezer and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. “And I’m also wary that this might be a breadcrumb and I won’t get another crumb after because you’re just trying to keep me quiet.”
I gathered my papers and put them back in the file. “If there is one thing I know, Luna, it is that I can’t keep you quiet. If I were to try to do that, I know you would just get louder. It’s one of the things I like and admire about you.”
She scoffed and filled her glass with water. “I think you are the only person in the world who finds that admirable.”
“You may be right, but I’m okay with that. There are a lot of things about you that also drive me crazy, but then also turn me on.”
Luna turned from the sink and leaned against the counter. “We’re not going there, Ransom.”
“Going where?” I knew what she was talking about, and while she didn’t like to be told no, I didn’t like it, either. At least, when it came to this because she told me no, but I knew she didn’t mean it.
“Back to you and me two years ago.”
I clicked my tongue. “I think that’s a good place to go to. Pretty sure we both had a good time.” I pointed a finger into my chest. “I know I had a good time.”
“Well, I did, too, but we can’t go back there.” She took a sip of her water. “No.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Did you just tell me no? The woman who hates that word just used it on me?”
“Well, yes.” She cleared her throat. “Because I can.”
I scooted the chair back and stood. I slowly stalked toward her until there was only a foot between us. “What scares you so much about us, Luna?”
She gulped and dropped her eyes to the floor between us. “I’m not scared of you, Ransom.”
I reached up and brushed my finger over the fading bruise on her cheek. “Row. You used to call me Row.”
Her eyes connected with mine. “That was a long time ago.”
I shook my head. “No. You called me it after you fell out of the van. You called me it more than once.”
“I was concussed, Ransom. You can’t use anything I said then.”
I chuckled and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Why is it so hard for you to call me my name?”
She licked her lips and shrugged.
“It’s personal, right, Luna? You call me Row and it puts you on a more intimate level with me.”
“Row,” she breathed out. “See, I can call you Row, and it doesn’t change anything.”
I placed my hand on her waist, and she sucked in a breath. “Say it again.”
She bit her bottom lip and shook her head.
“You’re running away from me, Luna, and I just don’t get why. What in your mind makes you flip what you and I had into something bad?”
“We weren’t bad, it was just…” she trailed off.
“It was just what? Heaven. Amazing. The best thing I ever had?”
“It was too much,” she whispered. “I could lose myself so easily with you, Ransom. You could take over my whole life, and I wouldn’t have even known it was happening.” She sobbed and put a hand on my chest.
“And you don’t think I felt the same way about you? Fucking hell, Luna. I cherished those moments where we were together and nothing else mattered but us. The nights we laid in bed and didn’t know where I ended and you began was heaven.”
“And that is terrifying,” she sobbed. “For so long, I wanted to be myself. I wanted everyone to know me as Luna and not as one of the kids from the Devil’s Knights. If you and I were to be a thing, I would just be known as your girlfriend. I would be Ransom’s girlfriend or ol’ lady. I. Am. Not. Just. Someone’s. Ol’. Lady.”
“When did I ever give you the impression that I would ever let that happen, Luna? You’re acting like I’ve been trying to control you and make you into something you aren’t. I know full and well who you are, and I would never, in a million years, want to change that. I don’t want an ol’ lady; I want you. I want Luna Wendt. I have since the day I met you, and that has never changed.”
“But what if Luna Wendt doesn’t want herself?” she whispered. “There are so many things I want, and I know I will never get them.”
“Says who?” I demanded. “You refuse to let me tell you no, but you’re going to let people who don’t even know you tell you no?” Luna was tough as nails, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have fears and feelings like every other human.
She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I don’t want to do this, Ransom. I can’t handle it.”
“So, when are you going to handle it?” I asked. “When are you going to ask for the things you want and tell everyone who tells you no to fuck off and just take it?” I reached up and cradled her chin in my hand. “Tell me one thing you want that you don’t think you can have. Just one.”
She shook her head.
“No judgement, Luna. No matter what you tell me, I won’t judge you. You could tell me you want to be a damn astronaut and I would start researching every possible way to make that happen for you.”
“I don’t want to be an astronaut, Ransom,” she giggled through a sob.
“Well, that is the most far out thing I could think of that you could want so whatever you say now is going to be like you telling me you want cereal.” I stepped closer to her. “Tell me, Luna.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s ridiculous, Ransom.”
“I have never heard a ridiculous word come out of your mouth. Tell me what you want, Luna. I already told you what I want. You.”
“You do know I’m a complete mess, right?” she whispered. “Underneath, I really don’t know what I’m doing and could fail at any instant.”
“Welcome to being an adult, Luna. We all feel that way. You’re just a fucking expert at convincing people you got it all together.” This was the Luna I saw. The one who was a badass, but she was vulnerable. She could kick ass and then cry about some cheesy movie she had just watched. “Tell me one thing you want more than anything in this world, Luna, that isn’t me because you and I both know we want each other.”
She laughed and opened her eyes. “How about I admit I want you and then we can forget about talking about the thing I want really bad, deal?”
I kissed the tip of her nose and shook my head. “No dice. I need both of those things.”
She closed her eyes again and sighed. “I want to be a full member of the Devil’s Knights. Not just the chick who manages Sultry Knights. I want to be able to sit at the table with my uncles and cousins and know that my voice matters in the decisions the club makes.” She opened one eye. “You’re not laughing.”
Why would I laugh at that?
I had said it before. Luna grew up in the MC, and it was what she knew. But there were things she didn’t like.
She ran right into the wall with being a member of the club just because she was a woman. That was bullshit, and I would say it right to King’s face and everyone else in the club if it came down to it. I had been turned away from the club because King saw that wasn’t what my life should be. I wasn’t just told no because I didn’t have the right equipment under my clothes.
“If you think that I would laugh at something you dream of and want, then I don’t know if you really know me, Luna.” I reared back slightly. “Though I could say I might have guffawed little bit if you told me you wanted to be an astronaut. And that is only because I picture you in space floating around and for some reason Greta is with you.” Yeah, don’t ask me why the hell Greta is with her, but it was enough to make me laugh.
Luna laughed and shook her head. “You can get astronaut out of your head, Ransom. I like to keep my dreams a bit more grounded.”
“You do know I kind of thought you always wanted to be a member of the Devil’s Knights, right? I mean, I think half of the town already thinks that you are.” Sure as shit people did think she was a member of the club.
Luna smacked me on the chest. “You did not know that. I have never said that out loud to anyone before because I knew I would be laughed right out of church.”
I didn’t think that was true. Not anymore. When I had talked to King the other day, things felt different. There was a shift happening in the clubhouse with Hero taking the reins more, and it was the perfect time for Luna to step in. The OGs of the club were pretty traditional and it might take a little convincing when it came to them, but I think it would happen.
All Luna had to do was take it. She was the only one who could make it happen.
The same thing applied to us.
I let her know I wanted her, but now, it was up to her. I couldn’t do anything more than just wait to see if she truly did want me.
“No one is going to laugh at you, Luna, and if they do, you can tell them to fuck right off and go start your own club. You could be the…” my mind drew a blank on everything. “Club Luna.”
Luna sputtered and laughed in my face. “Club Luna?” she shook her head and reached up to lay her hand on my cheek. “I can tell you right now, if it comes down to it, you will not be the one naming my MC.” Her eyes connected with mine, and she licked her lips.
“But I get to be a part of your dream?” I asked gently.
“I can’t have my dream if you’re not part of it, Row. You scare the living shit out of me because you see beyond the mask I put on. No one has ever seen me the way you do.”
“It’s not hard to see.” I saw her from day one. It just took her a couple of years to figure it out herself.
“I’ve been waiting two years to kiss you again, Luna.”
She bit her bottom lip. “Oh, yeah?”
“Dreamed about it,” I whispered.
She leaned forward and pressed her body against mine. “Then, what are you waiting for?”
