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“Hey, Evan.” She plopped onto the stool next to me.
“Ethan,” I corrected as I reached out and palmed her lower back to keep her from tumbling backward. Once she was upright and seemed balanced, I released my grip on her. “How’s it going? You doing okay?”
She snorted and laughed, shaking her head so hard she almost fell off her stool again. “Me? Yup. Great. I’m great, Evan,” she slurred.
“Ethan,” I said again, chuckling.
“Ethan. Right. Ethan, Ethan, Ethan,” she repeated, then booped me on my nose. “Ethan. I should know your name since you and I are gonna.” She paused and made a round shape with her hand, then started poking her other finger through the hole. “You know.”
“What?” I choked out.
Ivy slapped the bar. “Yep. I’ve decided Iris is right. People have one-night stands all the time. In fact, I just looked it up on my phone, and over sixty-six percent of people have had one-night stands. Sixty-six percent! That’s a lot of people. And I’m people, too, right? I’m a people.” She shrugged an adorable shrug. “So why not me? I think it’s time I did it too. I mean, you’ve had one, haven’t you? You’re in the sixty-six percent, right?”
“Uh, yeah. I have,” I admitted.
In fact, one-night stands wereallI’d done since I’d sworn off relationships five years earlier. As a man who didn’t like to be tied down and wanted the opportunities of the wide-open world at all times, I found that having flings suited my transient lifestyle far more than trying to negotiate with a girlfriend to allow me to do the things that made me happy.
To me, relationships were a constant battle between her needs and yours, and in the end, someone ended up losing out on happiness. The hassle wasn’t worth the headache, so I kept my sights on women who were on vacation and heading out of town in a matter of days, never to be seen again. I always clarified that there would be no happily ever after at the end of our interlude. They got a vacation story to tell their friends, and I got a little human connection with an expiration date ... just how I liked it.
“See! Everyone else, like you, has one-night stands. People all over the world are doing it... probably even right now. So, now I am too. Because obviously, what I was doing before wasn’t working. The dating, the cuddling, the more dating, the kissing, the more dating, the serious relationship, the sex, andthenthe getting cheated on. Every. Single. Time.” She rolled her already googly eyes. “I need to know why they are cheating, so I’m gonna sleep with you right now, and you’re gonna tell me if I’m a dynamo in the sack or if I need sex lessons.”
“Whoa.” I lifted up my hands. “You are way too drunk for me to be having sex with you.”
She blew out a puff of air with a snort. “Me? Drunk? No. I’m fine.” When she waved her hand above her head, she almost toppled back again but righted herself quickly. “I’m good. No. I’mgood. So, where do we go? You gotta place?”
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit visions of our sweat-slicked bodies crashing together didn’t invade every nook and cranny of my mind and cause my cock to throb in my pants. But as enticing as those visions seemed, I’d never take advantage of her like that.
Down boy. Not tonight.
“I think you’ve passed the point you can make consensual sex decisions tonight, Ivy. Come to me tomorrow when you’re sober, and I’ll happily placate your every need.”
She shook her head. “No. Gotta be tonight before I change my mind. I’ve never had a one-night stand before, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little nervous. I don’t think I’ll do it if I’m sober.”
“Exactly.” I laughed and stuck a finger in her face. “You wouldn’t do it sober, so we aren’t doing it while you’re drunk.”
She scrunched her face into a pout and swatted my finger. “I’m not drunk.”
“You literally just admitted you aren’t sober, and I think anyone at this bar can attest to the fact that you, my dear, are completely hammered.”
She grumbled. “Okay, fine. I may be just a wee bit buzzed.” She made a pinch with her fingers. “But I’m still completely in control of my decision-making. And I’ve decided I’m a people, and people have one-night stands, so I’m having sex tonight with a stranger to find out if I’m good in bed. Come on. Let’s go.”
She stood up and wobbled a little before she caught herself. I stood with her and stayed close in case she stumbled.
“Ivy, while I am flattered you would choose me for your experiment, I can’t sleep with you in this state. How about we just sit down and have a couple of waters and talk for a while?”
Her shoulders slumped with her exaggerated sigh. “I don’t want totalk. All I do is talk, talk, talk. I go on dates and dates and then do relationships, and then when it’s serious, I do the deed. I’m sick of following the rules! I want to be crazy tonight! Bold! Brave! The anti-Ivy! I’m gonna be likeIristonight, and Iris would go find some dude to bang it out with.”
“That dude is not gonna be me, Ivy. I wouldn’t feel right about it.”
She frowned. “Fine. But I’m doing this. Tonight. So, if you won’t be the dude, I guess I’ll have to find someone else to do it with.”
As her hungry, drunken gaze started scanning the bar, my stomach clenched when it clapped onto a group of shady-looking rich guys.
Her eyes lit up when she saw them. “Oh! Maybe one of them will do it.”
“Whoa!” I caught her by the arm as she took a step toward them. “No way, Ivy. Those guys don’t look like the type who will turn you down.”
“Exactly.” She booped my nose again. “I need to do this. Iris is right. A one-night stand in paradise is exactly what I need right now.”
