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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
IVY
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“Okay, that guy issprungon you, Ivy!” Tami whispered as we gathered at our table. “Just friends, my ass. You need to go get your one-night stand on, girl. Go have some fun with Ethan tonight!”
I glanced at him and caught him looking my way. I quickly diverted my gaze to the sombreros pinned on the wall above his head. “I don’t know if I can. What if I can’t have casual sex like he can, I get attached, and this ends up all messy and awful?”
“Girl, you just survived finding out your boyfriend is married. And you’re fine now, right?”
I tipped my head. “Yeah. Surprisingly, I’ve barely thought about Jimmy since we left Paradise Isles now that you mention it.”
“See. You can handle shit, and I think you’ll survive if things go south with Ethan. Not that they will, though, because he’s Ethan, and you’d be going into this not thinking about a house in the suburbs and the minivan and two and a half kids.” Jo arched an eyebrow. “Because in that case, yeah, itwouldend badly for you. Those things are like kryptonite to Ethan. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about having a hot one-night stand to add to that growing list of things you were telling us about. Why not? If you want him, go get him. Don’t be a chicken shit.”
Not being a chicken shit was kinda my new motto at the moment, so her words threw some kindling on the fire burning inside to have some fun with Ethan ...realfun.
“So, I what? Just go tell him I want to try sleeping with him, no strings attached? That sounds so weird and awkward.”
“Definitely not that,” Allison laughed. “This isn’t a business contract meeting. Maybe try kissing him and see how it goes from there. Let your natural chemistry, which is off the charts, drive the car after that.”
“You two have incredible chemistry.” Jenna glanced between us. “I mean, I’m a wedding planner, so I’m with couples all day long, and I know chemistry when I see it. In fact, knowing if a couple is the real deal is kinda my superpower. And let me tell you, you and Ethan have the real deal in chemistry.”
I looked over at him and caught him staring again. She wasn’t wrong. The chemistry I felt with him was unquenchable. Every molecule in my body seemed to gravitate toward him, and the only thing stopping me was my willpower to deny it.
“Yeah. We do have amazing chemistry,” I admitted.
“So, what’s the holdup?” Trish asked. “Are you on birth control?”
“Yes. I’ve been on the pill since high school.”
Jenna set down her margarita. “Well then, there you go. No chance of getting knocked up, and if you also use a condom, you’re doubly safe, so no worries there. This is the perfect opportunity to have your first fling and do it with a safe guy you can trust and a guy who is completely non-committal, so you know you can go into it without worrying about feelings and relationships and all that messy shit getting in the way. Just enjoy this rare chemistry that you two have together and follow your natural instincts with it. Right now, you’re fighting against them. Don’t. Just go with it and see where it takes you. There’s a reason your body and your mind are attracted to him. I mean, you’re in a bar with a ton of hot, funny, nice guys. All A+ quality. Do you want to ‘eat pizza’ with them?”
I laughed at the reference but shook my head. “No. Not at all.”
Jenna jutted a finger at me. “Exactly. Chemistry is weird, but it’s real. Why we are attracted to one person and not another is a serious mystery, but it’s our body’s natural way of telling us we have a potential match. There is something pulling you two together, so go with it. Follow it. If it’s into his arms and his bed, so be it. If your instincts tell you to stop, then stop.”
She paused to take a sip of her margarita, and I let her words sink in.
“So, just follow my instincts?”
With a quick slurp, she pulled some salt off the rim of her glass and then nodded. “Yep. Just go for it. Don’t let your overthinking be the reason you’re slamming on the brakes. It’s incredibly liberating to just toss your good sense out the window and let your instincts drive for a while. You’re young. Enjoy these moments while you can.” She let out a lengthy sigh. “And if it’s anything like my fling in college, those memories can keep you going during really tough times.” She stared off again, no doubt more memories of this passionate love affair she had filling her mind. I wanted memories like that. Passion like that. To feel free and wild.
“Yeah. My fling in Barcelona still makes me warm and tingly from head to toe when I think back on it,” Nancy sighed. “Wow. What an amazing experience that was.”
All the girls seemed to drift off into memories that inspired soft smiles to pull up their painted lips. Soft smiles that I didn’t understand because I’d never let myself be free to follow my desires without weighing the pros and cons and thinking of all the consequences—weighing the risks like I did with everything in my life. And someday, I wanted to look back on the memory of this road trip and have that same nostalgic smile.
With excitement and nerves battling together inside of me, I slammed my drink down on the table. “Okay. I’m doing it. I’m gonna eat the pizza!”
“No way!” Tami clapped. “That’s awesome!”
I stood up straight, the confidence in my decision filling me up with excitement. “What the hell. I’m in a beautiful place with a beautiful, kind man that I can’t stop thinking about getting naked with, so I’m going for it. I’m freeing myself to explore my desires with him before I head back to Chicago and go on a man ban for the foreseeable future to find out what I want in life ... find out what’s important tome. Ethan will be my last binge before a very long, cleansing diet. No regrets. No guilt. No weighing pros and cons and consequences and overthinking every little thing. I’m following my desires right over there to see where they take us.”
“You get that pizza, girl!” Trish pumped a fist in the air.
They all filled me with encouraging words as I glanced in the window to fix my hair. When I looked out it, I saw Ethan walking up to the trolley alone.
“Oh shit! Is he leaving?”
