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He tightened his grip around me and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m excited for you.”
As his embrace on me tightened even more, I started fighting off those feelings for him that threatened to pull me under ... feelings I swore I wouldn’t have. Feelings Icouldn’thave. No violations of rule number one. Tomorrow, Ethan and I would head back to Chicago, and this fairytale trip would come to an end. I wasn’t even sure if I would ever see him again, and even though that thought felt like someone stabbing a knife straight through my heart, we’d both agreed to it.
And at least I had a fail-safe in this plan of ours in case my ability to separate a fling from a relationship malfunctioned. Ethan was a free spirit and didn’t do relationships. And only reminding myself of that over and over again kept my mind from spinning out of control and envisioning a life together that went past tomorrow.
Even if I wasn’t already a woman on a mission to find my own happiness as a single woman, a happily ever after with him didn’t exist. Our week together had been magical. I felt things for him I’d never felt before—feelings I didn’t even know existed until I met him—but that didn’t change the reality of our situation.
As painful as it was to acknowledge, Ethan and I ended tomorrow.
Trying to push that reality from my mind and live in the moment, I wiggled around to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Thank you, Ethan. Thank you for coming into my life and turning it upside down. I can’t imagine where I would be without you.”
He brushed a piece of my blowing hair from my eyes and leaned down, giving me a kiss so deep it felt like it would never end. And I didn’t want it to. I didn’t want any of this to end.
It’s just a fling,I reminded myself like I did over and over every time the magic crackled between us. Being with Ethan was like a vacation from my reality, and like any great vacation, you never wanted it to end. But at some point, you had to say goodbye and head home while still treasuring those incredible memories.
And Ethan ... I’d never, ever forget even one single moment of our time together.
Trying to get my emotions to simmer back down from overdrive into neutral, I slowly pulled out of his embrace. I leaned my elbows on the railing and stared out into the open water toward shore. “What are we doing tonight?”
Ethan leaned on the railing beside me. “Well, the timing should be just right that when we get back on the mainland, we can drive to my favorite beach and watch the sunset. After that, it’s up to you. What do you want to do on our last night together?”
“You.” I peeked over and grinned.
He started to laugh and slung an arm around my shoulder, then pressed a kiss to my head. “Well, that can be arranged.”
My body ignited just thinking of being with him again. I felt so free and uninhibited with Ethan, and it let me experience sex in a way I’d never imagined I could. He opened me up to trying new things and pushed my boundaries both in life and in the bedroom. Being with him made me feel alive. Brave. Bold. Like a brand-new Ivy.
A seagull flying past pulled his gaze. “What do you say we eat some pizzaandeat some pizza tonight? We can grab one from Wild Tomato on our way through Sister Bay. It’s wood-fired and crazy delicious.”
I laughed. “Deal. Pizza, pizza, and more pizza. My kinda night.”
“Perfect.”
We stood together for the next fifteen minutes watching the shore grow closer and closer as the ferry pushed us across Death’s Door. When we made it back to the dock in Gill's Rock, Ethan and I climbed back into his truck as the ferry slowed to a stop.
“You sure you don’t want to try driving again?” he asked as he started the engine. It clunked and sputtered, then revved up.
“Uh, I almost left your transmission on the island. I think it’s best for Daisy May if I stay over here.”
He patted the steering wheel. “Ah, Daisy May is a tough old bird. She can take it.”
Memories of me grinding the gears and stalling out over and over flooded my mind. As mortified as I was to have been so terrible at it, Ethan’s relaxed manner and laughter had soothed my embarrassment until I’d finally managed to get the truck going. But now, on the ferry, it wasn’t just Ethan who would bear witness to my terrible shifting skills. “I think I’ll pass. I’m worried I’ll stall out on the ferry, and everyone behind us will be honking and screaming at me to get the hell out of the way.”
He glanced in his rearview and smiled. “Okay. That’s valid. You really are quite horrible at it.”
Laughing, I shrugged. “At least I can say I did it. Maybe not well, but I drove a stick shift.”
“That you did.” He shifted it into gear. “I mean, you did make it a whole two hundred feet without stalling out, so that qualifies as driving, I guess. Kinda.”
I laughed and covered my face. “Well, I can’t be good at everything, and lucky for me, I don’t ever have to drive a stick shift again. It’s off the list.”
“You and your list.” He smiled again as he maneuvered the truck off the ferry.
I kicked back in the seat as we wove down the winding road back toward civilization. Ethan took his time so I could soak in all the sights of the county in the fall. It truly was a paradise here. Time seemed to move slower. People were nicer. No one locked their doors or took the keys out of the ignition. I’d never known such a place could exist, and I started to wonder if perhaps my new life could take me back to Door County more often.
I glanced over at Ethan.
It would be an excuse to see him again.
Then I remembered Iris’s words from my call to her last night. She was so proud of me for forging this life and for setting forth on a new path that didn’t involve anything other than following my own hopes and dreams. And planning a trip to Door County again just to see Ethan went against that completely. Even considering it sent me backward. No. Not anymore. Guys would not influence my decisions. Not with Ivy 2.0. If I came back, it would be for me, not him. If I saw him again, it would just be a happy coincidence.
But then I glanced over and caught him staring at me. His gaze delved deep into me, speaking to a part of my soul that had slumbered until he had awakened it. Every time our eyes connected, that part of me came alive again, and ribbons of hopes and dreams twisted and twirled inside of me—hopes and dreams that always seemed to include him.
Exhaling a breath and trying to quiet the unyielding need for him that couldn’t exist outside of Door County, I broke our stare and tried to break the trance he put me under. We had one more night. Only a few more magical moments until we would part ways, and that part of my soul that belonged to him and him alone would have to close its eyes and rest once again.
