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“No, I’m just saying you’re better off because Ed’s brother a total playboy. You know that he was Mr. January from last year’s firefighter calendar, and since then, girls have been sprouting out of his ears. From what Ed tells me, it’s been like that since Randy was fifteen, actually,” she adds. “It’s just become even worse. It’s as if a dam burst ever since the calendar hit.”
I sigh.
“Well, that sucks for me. I mean, I thought that I went the extra mile. It wasn’t just looking at the pile of steaming dog shit, Mags. I think I stepped in it while we were doing it. Randy was going pretty hard, and I was rocking back and forth and… well, you know.”
Sam clucks and shakes her head.
“I do know, even if the experience is starting to sound totally gross. I mean, why didn’t you just get into the backseat of your car or something? Why risk it in such a filthy place?”
I fix her a look.
“It didn’t occur to us because we were that desperate to be together.”
Mags giggles again and holds up a hand.
“Okay, okay, I got it. Point made. But I promise that one day your prince will come because if it happened for me, it’ll happen for you.” I’m about to protest, but then Mags changes the subject. “Well, even if dating is a shitshow, at least school is going well, right?” she asks. “How are your classes? You were always so smart.”
I sigh. I’m currently attending Cedar Toms Community College, and so far, it’s been dreadful. I merely pout and shrug lifelessly.
“To be honest, it’s kind of blah. I’m feel like I’m taking a bunch of random classes that lead to nowhere. They’re so scattered, from Introductory Sociology, to English Lit 101, to Rocks for Jocks. I mean, I should throw in underwater basket weaving just for the heck of it at this point.”
Maggie smiles sympathetically as I pretend to slit my own throat.
“Don’t worry about it, Sam. You’ll figure things out as some point. You’re a smart girl, and you always land on your feet.”
“Then make Mr. January call me!” I whine pathetically. “Randy is your brother in law, after all.”
But Mags is firm as she jiggles Dahlia in her lap.
“Nope. Like I said, girlfriend, I think you’re better off without that man. He’s just swimming in women, and I don’t think even a supermodel could get him to settle down. Seriously, you dodged a bullet. Trust me on this.”
I give up.
“Okay, okay, point taken. I’ll have to work on Mr. March then. Or Mr. April, May, June, or heck, any month will do.”
“That’s the spirit,” my friend giggles. “Okay, the baby’s starting to get hungry, so I’ve got to give her the boob, but talk later, okay?”
I wave and blow kisses at Dahlia.
“Bye girlfriend. Bye sweetie! I love you,” I call to them both. Then, we hang up and I plop lifelessly backwards on my couch. It’s always good to talk with Maggie because my friend has such great perspective on things. If she says that I’m better off without Randy Sterling, then I probably am. But still, he was incredibly gorgeous, and it felt soooo good to be taken by a real man. I can still feel his broad hands on my waist, gripping tight as he shafted me again and again.
But what am I doing? I can’t be daydreaming about Randy Sterling when I have no hope of ever seeing him again. He’s already made that abundantly clear with his silence, and my cat Calico lets out a meow of agreement. I snort while patting her head.
“It’s just you and me, okay Cal?” I say in a sour tone. “I’ll die a spinster, and people will come to my abandoned apartment only to find you and a billion other cats mrowling about hungrily for food.”
She lets out another yowl, and I slump deeper into the couch cushions. Dang. I didn’t think my cat would agree, but it seems that I really am going to die alone while dreaming of the handsome Randy Sterling.
