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“I know he is,” I replied softly. “I’ve been away a long time, but notthatlong.” Because he didn’t want to hear it, because he didn’t even want to register it, I decided the only thing to do was to move closer to him and to take his mind off things with a kiss that would lead to action and not more thoughts.
The past was bleak, loaded with what-ifs and what might have beens, and it was murky enough to make me want to avoid thinking of it. The present was bright, and the future loaded with hope that I longed to come true.
Dec and I were rattling along well together, merging into a cohesive unit that I knew Seamus was the direct reason for, but there were signs that he needed me as much as I needed him.
The way, today, he’d placed his hand on my thigh. How he’d let me have my voice. How he’d tried to protect me, shield me from his family.
I’d expected to be killed, to be mistreated, to be yelled at. Instead, I was being treated like an equal. Like someone who’d made as many mistakes as Declan had. It hit me then that the reason he was cutting me so much slack was that he wanted a second chance too.
That, maybe, for as long as I’d been pining for him, he’d been pining for me.
I hoped that was the case.
Really, truly, I did.
And then, I didn’t think because as I moved over to him, he tugged me into his arms, and after placing his hands on my hips, jerked me upward so that I could hook my legs around his thighs.
His touch was harder than usual, a little rougher, but I didn’t,wouldn’tcomplain, because I knew why.
I’d stirred up something in his mind, something to do with Finn and his father. He was denying it, trying not to think about whatever had cropped up, but that was the trouble with Pandora’s box. Once it was opened, it could never be closed.
So I let him take solace in me. I let him enjoy my body and use me as a respite because I wanted to be that for him.
I wanted to be his everything.
* * *
DECLAN
My mind buzzedwith thoughts I didn’t need to hear, didn’twantto hear. I wasn’t sure where she’d gotten that crap about Finn, but it drove me crazy, to the point where I was a little rougher with her than I intended.
I never treated her with kid gloves, something I knew she enjoyed. I treated her like a woman I needed,craved,and that seemed to get her as hot as shedid me.
So because she didn’t complain, I pushed her against the wall. I knew she loved that the paintings were ‘watching’ us, and that drove things up to another level for me too. Fuck, we gelled so well that it blew my mind how we could be so different yet so perfect for each other.
So perfectnowfor each other.
She wouldn’t be this Aela if I’d wifed her when I was a kid myself.
She wouldn’t be this strong, this fiery, this ballsy if she hadn’t led the life she had.
With my dick grinding into her, I held her up with force alone so I could reach up and cup her face. She stared at me with eyes that were hazed with lust, and it stirred me like no other woman could. Just to see that she was aroused was enough to make me want to pinch myself.
Framing her cheeks, I murmured, “You know what blows my mind?”
She blinked. “What?”
“That we had to go through all the shit to be here right now. To be the people we are.”
“We did,” she confirmed softly.
“It fucks with me to think that I like this you better than the old you.”
Her brows rose, but her lips twitched. “I think there’s a compliment in there.”
“There is. A massive one. The old you got my dick hard.” I ground my cock into her. “This you makes me feel like I’d kill to get inside you. I never thought I could feel this way for a woman. Never thought I’d love someone so fucking much just for how they go through life, butting heads here and shouting people down there.”
Her eyes flared wide. “You love me?”
