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“Maybe. Maybe not.” I licked my lips as I stared up at the floodlights that illuminated the warehouse yard as if it was midday and not almost midnight. “You alone at the apartment?”
“Da’s out on business, yeah. Mom took a Valium,” she said, her tone shy.
Any other woman, I’d have said she was being coy, but Aela didn’t play those games. It was one of the reasons I loved her.
My stomach had stopped protesting the second I’d heard her voice, and the thought of being with her, of being inside her, was a lifeline I couldn’t ignore.
“I need you, baby,” I told her, my voice low and husky with a desperation I couldn’t hide.
“What’s wrong, Declan? You sound funny.”
“I feel it.” My admission came with a sharp sigh. “Can I come over?”
“You know you can,” she whispered, making relief rush through me.
I needed her in ways I couldn’t even admit to myself, but every time I went to her, I felt like a piece of shit.
I could never be hers, not while Deirdre was alive, and yet, some days, the only thing that got me out of bed was the prospect of seeing Aela. Of her smiling at me, of her kissing me, of her hand in mine, her fingers on my stomach before she reached for my dick.
It wasn’t all sex, even if that was a big part of it. I needed her.
I knew she needed me too.
“I’ll be there in twenty.”
“You’re at the warehouse?”
She shouldn’t know about that, but one time I’d had her come meet me here while I was on guard duty and we’d had some fun in one of the back offices.
The only time I didn’t have that squid fiancée on me like gonorrhea was while I was working, and getting some time alone with Aela was next to impossible but imperative to my mental health.
Yeah, mobsters-in-the-making had mental health issues too—go figure.
“You should have told me. I’d have come visited.”
The words sent longing through me.
If ever there was a woman who wasn’t made for being a side piece, it was her, and though it was crappy of me to treat her that way when she deserved everything I had to give, I was grateful for her.
So grateful.
Somedays, I felt sure she was the only reason I didn’t blow my brains out. Just like I’d done to Jimmy D.
Closing my eyes, I rasped, “Tonight wasn’t a good night for a visit.”
Her voice turned hushed. “Oh.”
We both knew what that meant.
Even though Deirdre was the daughter of one of my old man’s lieutenants, she didn’t seem to understand how shit worked. I wasn’t sure why that was or how she couldn’t know. Maybe she was just oblivious to it. I knew she was ignorant of the fact I hated her. Of the fact that when I touched her, I hated every second of it. So why would she even notice if crap had gone down, and how would she even monitor it?
I knew she was self-centered. It was one of the many things I loathed about her. And one of the things I loved about Aela was how she was the exact opposite. How she read between the lines and understood the darker days where my soul cringed with what I had to do for my father.
Two women had come into my world, one I hated, one I loved. I was destined to be with both, but not in the way they deserved.
“I’ll be there soon,” I vowed, and she hummed.
“Can’t wait.”
