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I got it, and I wanted to weep.
My eyes grew misty as he kissed me in thanks, in gratitude for doing for our son what his mom hadn’t done for us.
I didn’t blame Magdalena. She was a woman of her generation, a woman tied to a powerful psychopath. What should she have done? Run away? Aidan Sr. would never have let her go.
Declan had let me leave the country.
There was a distinct difference between father and son. But, even so, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. If he’d known I was pregnant, he wouldn’t have let me leave. Just like his da.
He fucked my mouth like he couldn’t fuck my pussy, and before I knew it, he was on top of me, one knee speared between mine, separating my thighs. His hand was there, his dick with the cold beads at my side, hot and cold scorching my flesh with equal measure. His fingers went to my clit, rubbing me there as he thrust his tongue against mine, not letting up, not stopping until he twisted his hand around and plowed two digits into me.
He caught my sharp cry in his mouth as he ground the heel of his hand against my clit. My head fell back, but he didn’t let me go. He moved with me, his other hand urging me to kiss him again. Because I wanted to scream, because I needed to come so badly already, I let him.
The last thing I needed were thoughts of Seamus breaking in on this moment, a moment that was better than every sexual encounter since I’d left him.
He swallowed my whimpers, my moans, taking them into him until I knew he had to be in agony with his own need. But he didn’t grab my hand, didn’t urge me to touch him.
This was all about me.
All. About. Me.
And it messed with my head in a way he could never have foreseen.
As he let me fly, as he let me soar, he also tethered me to him. He didn’t know he did it. But he did. Bindings appeared between us once more. Bindings that had been broken when I’d left and he’d let me.
They weren’t as strong as before. Couldn’t be. There was too much time between us, too much distance, but with patience, they’d return.
They’d whisper around my heart, around my being, until I knew I wouldn’t be able to live without him. Until what I’d gone through as a stupid teenager would pale in comparison. Because I knew what it was like to live without him.
Hell on earth.
And the last thing I wanted was to be thrust back into it, when here, there was a promise of paradise. The only paradise a sinner like me, and like him, would ever be able to reach.
