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"There was something in particular? Not just a photo of my beautiful self that had you drooling?"
"Well, that too," he joked, his eyes crinkling at the corners a second before, in a flash, he turned somber as he intoned, and I knew he was quoting something, "There’s a sweet kind of abyss in the unknown. In diving headfirst into whatever the universe sends one’s way.
"Whether we confront that unknown or evade it, it remains there, a silent test, one that we ultimately must pass or fail. Whether it be at that moment or in thirty years’ time, the test will never fade for we are that test. We are the sum of many tests that we sit through without even knowing. They forge us in fire, strengthening us like we were steel, and that is why we must embrace change.
"Today is the first change as we pass from adolescence into adulthood, and as we sit here today, or in my case, stand, we face the unknown of the future and rather than fear it, we’re excited for it. Today, we’re passing our first test as an adult."
"Jesus," I rasped, the words resonating with me in a way that made it click in my memory. "Is that my valedictorian speech from high school?"
He hummed, the sound oddly soothing when combined with the gentle raking of the small pebbles in the zen garden.
"How did you remember all that?"
"I like to think it’s fate."
I blinked. "What do you mean?"
"I mistyped your name." He cast me a look. "Savanna Dariel," he spelled aloud. "It threw up a thread from a student forum from 2004. On it, they were discussing your speech."
"Really?" It stunned me to realize my cheeks were burning.
"Yes. Really. I read it and I don’t know why but it resonated." He sucked in a breath. "Okay, that’s bullshit. I know exactly why. It’s just that I realized how right you were.
"At eighteen, you were more self-aware than I was in my late thirties." He shrugged. "I had to see the woman who wrote that speech. I had to know if she’d passed more tests or if she’d failed them."
"I’m not sure if I like that or not," I murmured with a scowl.
He cast me another look as he snickered. "You can’t control everything. Including why I decided to hunt you down rather than have you killed. Maybe you should just be grateful, hmm?"
My nose crinkled. "When you put it like that—"
His brow quirked. "Bet your damn ass I am. That’s what it boiled down to."
"My valedictorian speech saved me? Christ, it was more apt than I could have imagined. Talk about passing tests… sheesh."
He nodded his assent and carried on dragging the rake through the gravel as he said, "Then, of course, I met you. I was glad I decided not to silence you."
"Gee, thanks," I drawled. "You don’t believe in compliments for the sake of compliments, do you?"
"You’re probably the only person I don’t have to lie to, Savannah. That’s more of a compliment than you probably know."
Shit, he wasn’t wrong.
I perked up. "Does that mean you’ll never lie to me?"
"It means I’ll tell you the truth when I can."
"I can accept that," I responded immediately.
"Good seeing as that’s the only option on the table. There’s shit you don’t want to know."
"You say that like I’m not an aficionado."
"Reading it in books, seeing it on TV, it’s not the same as knowing about it." He placed the rake down with a care that told me he didn’t want to fling it even though that was his current mood. "And it’s not the same as fucking a guy who—" He sighed. "Never mind. I’ll tell you what I think you need to know. That’s a hard limit, Savannah. I want to make that clear here and now."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I have hard limits too."
"I’ll bet you do," he sniped back, rolling his eyes at me. "Let’s hear it. What are they?"
