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Two little bones fused together, wrecking my hopes for—
No.
There was always hope.
“Aoife, you need to consider discussing the option of Mr. O’Grady having a vasectomy—”
Deaf to her words, I made my way to the door. As it opened, my guard was standing there, and I almost sagged into him.
Like he knew I needed the support, John cupped my elbow, and I peered up at him while he frowned down at me.
“Is everything okay, Aoife?”
What did I say?
If Finn knew about this appointment, he’d want to know what was going on. If he knew, he’d make me—
I couldn’t.
I just… I couldn’t have an abortion.
Was that selfish or selfless? I had no idea, but the prospect of…
I blew out a breath.
“I just feel woozy. I think they took too much blood.”
John frowned, but he nodded. “Damn doctors. You think they’d know when enough’s enough.”
“They should. You’re right,” I muttered, throwing my OBGYN under the bus because it saved face.
John guided me to the elevator, and I must have looked rough because he said, “Just wait here. I’ll get the car.”
Nodding, I leaned against the wall and waited for him. I placed a hand on my stomach then cringed when that pain hit me again.
It was such a weird feeling, and I’d gone through the gamut when I was carrying Jake. Abdominal scar tissue meant that pregnancy wasn’t easy for me.
In all honesty, I’d imagined it would be just as hard as before, but this blindsided me.
The pregnancy isn’t viable.
My child wasn’t viable.
Was it wrong to take that as an insult?
My child was perfect.
Except… he or she wasn’t. Because they’d live for a few hours if they survived long enough for me to give birth.
Pain slashed through me of a different nature this time. It had nothing to do with my womb, and everything to do with my heart.
Finn would make me terminate the pregnancy.
I knew he would.
The car pulled up and, still dazed, I drifted forward and didn’t wait for John to open the door for me. Just clambered in with all the elegance of a giraffe eating grass and immediately hit the button for the privacy screen.
I stayed upright only for as long as it took for the screen to separate John and me, then I slumped on the back seat, staring blindly at the ceiling, not even caring that I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.
