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“You’re a LIAR!” she shrieked. “You protectedher. You choseher.”
She was right. To an extent. “I didn’t,” I snarled. “I didn’t choose her—”
“You did. You fucking did. You let me love her—”
I had. There was no arguing with that. “I’m so goddamn sorry, sweetheart.”
“Sorry isn’t enough,” she sobbed.
“It isn’t, I know it, but I swear to you I didn’t choose Lena.”
“You’re a liar!” she screamed again, the words armed with claws that made me bleed.
“I didn’t!” I hissed. “I choseme,Aoife. I chose me.”
I had no idea why but that stopped her shrieks, that stopped her from bucking against me.
Around us, the air seethed. As if our tempers made heat swell and bubble.
She grew still.
Hellishly still.
I tried not to savor these last moments of closeness, pretty damn sure this was it—the last time she’d let me hold her.
“Let me out,” she breathed.
She sounded calmer. I was still unsure, however, if that was the worst thing to say or not. It appeared to have gotten through to her enough that it calmed her down.
“You won’t keep doing shit that’ll end up with you hurting yourself?”
“I won’t,” she bit off testily.
I moved a couple inches away so that she could turn around. I half expected her to try to knee me in the balls, but she didn’t. She stared up at me with tear-drenched eyes that were red and weepy.
Unable to stop myself, I pressed into her, and I pushed my forehead against hers.
“I wanted my family, Aoife, and I didn’t have faith. I-I didn’t… I didn’t choose her. I chose them. Why would you have wanted anything to do with them after this?” I shook my head. “I was selfish and so fucking wrong, and I’m so goddamn sorry. You’re my life, Aoife, my life. My world—”
She was silent for so long that I felt sure I’d lost her anyway, then she rasped, “I want to see him.”
I didn’t expect her to say that, so it took me a second to reply, “I don’t know if you could handle it, Aoife. We have to think of the baby—”
Her hands went to my shoulders, and she tried to shove me back and away. It didn’t work, but she tried again anyway. In this, however, I would always be her safe haven in the storm.
She might not think she was safe with me, but she always would be.
“I can handle anything this fucking world throws at me, Finn. I’m still standing, aren’t I? My husband betrayed me, the love of my life lied to me, and I haven’t crumbled to dust, have I?
“I. Want. To. See. Him,” she ended with a snarl. “You can help me or not but I swear, nothing will stop me from seeing him. Not you, not anyone.”
This wasn’t a hill I was willing to die on.
“I’ll ask Aela to come babysit.”
Whether Aoife would regret this later on was tomorrow’s problem.
