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Thirty-Three
Finn
“Finn?”I stared out of the window, looking at nothing as Eoghan mumbled in my ear, “For fuck’s sake, are you listening?”
“I’m listening.”
“You really sound like it. Jesus.”
“What are you whining about now?”
“Ma asked me to ask you when I should pick up Jake. Why she couldn’t just call you herself, I don’t fucking know.”
I rubbed my eyes, feeling even more exhausted than before. The last few days hadn’t been easy, but now Aoife was back home, things felt both settled and chaotic.
The apartment was too quiet without Jake, but he was so rambunctious and Aoife was so fragile… I didn’t even dare hug her. I just held her hand when she let me, feeling like a complete and utter failure as I wished I could do something to make this better, wished like fuck I could take away her pain, all while knowing I couldn’t do dick.
“Aoife and Lena have had a falling out,” I rasped eventually, staring into the sky where a cluster of birds were flying in a ‘V’ formation.
“They have? Since when?” Eoghan queried, his surprise clear. “I didn’t think Aoife had spoken to anyone.”
The family gossip mill was churning along as per fucking usual, it seemed.
Only three days had passed since Aoife had come home from the hospital, but it felt like an eternity had drifted by us too.
“Does it matter?” I heaved a sigh. “What a goddamn week, Eoghan.”
“I’m—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry.”
“Why not? I am.”
“So am I. I’m overdosing on that word. Sorry won’t bring Imogen back.”
“Aoife named her?”
“Wenamed her,” I growled.
“Does that help?”
“Doesn’t fucking help me, but it does Aoife. That’s all that matters.”
If anything, thinking of her, when Imogen would never exist anywhere other than in our imaginations, hurt as badly as what had happened to me as a kid.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that was possible, but it was.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I muttered, “You don’t need to hear any of this shit. I’d appreciate it if you could bring Jake home. Lena will have a car seat.”
“If I can help, I will. You know that. I was only bitching because Ma was being cagey. I got your back, Finn.”
“I know you do. Same goes.”
“What time should I come around?”
“Whenever’s easiest for you.” I placed my hand against the glass and leaned into the window. “You don’t realize how quiet a place is until they’re not hanging around. I swear, Eoghan, kids… they’ll break your fucking heart.”
“They’re terrifying.”
